Anxiety Self Help

pump up the volume, donnie darko, fargo, the big lobowski, big fish, o brother where art thou?, foxfire, hackers, da ali g movie, taxi driver, the departed, good will hunting, boondock saints, gia, spellbound, psycho, marnie, harold and maude, the 5 senses, slam, manic, crash, wassup rockers, kids, shawshank redemption, the green mile, dancer in the dark, 12 monkeys, the harder they come, angels in america, pecker, where the day takes you, smoke, bad santa, the 40 year old virgin, american psycho, kpax, spirited away, howl's moving castle, adventures in babysitting, pink floyd the wall, heathers, the breakfast club, trainspotting, requiem for a dream, bowling for columbine, office space, harold and kumar go to white castle, empire records, the caveman's valentine, the matrix, v for vendetta, the iron giant, almost famous, born into brothels, my cousin vinny

pink floyd, ani difranco, tupac, bob marley, the cure, depeche mode, tom waits, tom petty, c-rayz walz, the perceptionists, edan, tori amos, kanye west, dj shadow, tricky, portishead, erykah badu, the doors, jimi hendrix, bob dylan, carole king, james taylor, fun lovin' criminals, beatles, john lennon, beastie boys, breeders, akrobatik, atmosphere, amy mann, aerosmith, cat stevens, dead prez, the dead milkmen, sex pistols, ramones, elvis costello, david bowie, the gossip, dinosour jr, violent femmes, warlock, luscious jackson, nine inch nails, alice in chains, pearl jam, stone temple pilots, faith no more, katastrophe, deep dickcollective, god-des and she, bitch and animal, the cranberries, henry rollins, jars of clay, jethro tull, old skull, janis joplin, smashing pumpkins, tribe called quest, the pharcyde, blackalicious, the kinks, metallica, gym class heroes, moby, eminem, ray charles, outkast, primus, pamela means, erin mckeown, patti smith, syd barret, skitzofreniks, dresden dolls, kimya dawson, grateful dead

dsm, kurt cobain journals, go ask alice by anonymous, alice in wonderland by lewis carrol, the chelsea whistle by michelle tea, the pigman by paul zindell, the great gilly hopkins, the butter battle book by dr suess, the moster at the end of this book by grover muppet, sesame street unpaved, the pokey little puppy, the thesaurus, the rhyming dictionary, girl interupted by susanna kaysen, the paper crane by molly bang, sun signs by linda goodman, the ptsd workbook, the big book of bithdays, the courage to heal workbook, teen torment by patricia evans, courage by bernard waber, ira sleeps over by bernard waber, feelings by aliki, bridge to terabithia, letters to judy blume, book of lists by russ kick, fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fanny flagg, to kill a mockingbird by harper lee, one flew over the cookoo's nest by ken kesey, the artist's way by julia cameron, retro hell- life in the 70's and 80's from a-z, the big book of peace, the pill book

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i'm a 28 year old ftm rapper/ slam poet/ zinester/ artist/ photographer/ beatboxer/ director/ philosopher/ crafter/ blogger.
i am bi but i'm more attracted to girls. i have tattoos and a nose ring. i used to have a tongue ring and eyebrow ring, but i took them out. i do still want more tattoos.
I grew up in a suburb outside of Boston Massachusetts and i was an outcast from the very beginning. It was hard for me to fit in and the harder i tried, the more obvious it was.
I went to my first therapist in the second grade, around the time that trauma started in my life. From age 6 til age 15 i was traumatized on an almost daily basis. i lived in fear. if it wasn't sexual trauma, it was physical, emotional or neglect. My parents were not the main abusers, but their innability to understand or know how to relate to their awkward child was kind of a trauma in itself, although i know they wished they knew how to connect with me. i don't connect on a soul to soul level with many people. i met someone in the early 2000's who i trusted and fell in love with. i married her in 2004 but we both had mental health issues and it was too much for us to handle. i am a late bloomer but i am confident that eventually i will be successful and even famous. Until then, i have a lot of stuff left to work on and i'm trying to learn what kind of man i am and want to be. its a journy, ya know?

hip hop, psychology, slam poetry, folk music, graffiti, records, turntables, yard sales, beatboxing, zines, youtube, livejournal, art, photography, decupage, directing, improv, stand up comedy, sex, drugs, rock and roll, painting, kitties, toads, the ocean, the moon, summer, skateboards, tony hawk video games, pop culture, sociology, spirituality, tripping, dissociation, abdl, dj, scratch, breakdance, swimming, hiking, computers, photoshop, fruityloops, making beats, making videos, glbtq, transgender issues, m-power.org, riding waves

long winters, violence, war, excessive greed, hate, white power, the system, brainwashing, mainstream media/news, paris hilton, carlos mencia, entertainment tonight, jerry fallwell may he face reality in his afterlife, george bush, the bush administration, kkk, nazis, skinheads, organized crime, gentrification, slavery (its still going on all over the world including in america), hummers, throwing up, crying in front of other people, people who take advantage of their authority over you, bird poop