Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Mar 21 2011, 12:31 pm / MOOD: Okay

Hello Everyone!

Just thought I would share what am doing to try to help myself and hopefully inspire others. Simply writing down and addressing the things that make me anxious calms my nerves for the time being.

ANXIETY: Unfinished Tasks At My Work-Sometimes I can't finish things by myself I am waiting for others to finish the first part before I can continue and I hate the feeling of it hanging over my head. SOLUTION: Attack one at a time, be persistent in reminding coworkers to complete their end of the task.

ANXIETY: Europe Research-My Fiance and I are going to Europe for 3 weeks and that is totally awesome, but researching best prices, trains vs planes, etc is getting me nowhere and my fiance doesn't like to commit unless he is "Absolutely sure we have exhausted all research options" and I just want to check what we have to do off the list! SOLUTION: Devote 30min of research a day, do not move on in research until a decision is made about the portion of the trip at hand.

ANXIETY: My parent's physical and mental health-I have blogged about this many times for my Mom, now they are testing my Dad for Parkinsons. Sigh...SOLUTION: Positive thoughts and prayer, there is nothing else.

ANXIETY: Job Situation/Student Loans-The long story short is that I have a master's degree and can't find work in my field or work that pays me according to the level of having a masters. I feel lost and ashamed about this. SOLUTION: I am going to stop looking for awhile. I am employed and things are managable. Looking for a job in my field is no longer high on my priority list.

ANXIETY: Phone-I am always afraid it is bad news and I have to drop everything to address it. SOLUTION: Give myself a little pep talk before answering the phone or listening to voicemails. "It is ok, this call is not bad news."

ANXIETY: Tardiness/Traffic-Apparently traffic is a very common anxiety and tardiness, I just want to be considerate! :) SOLUTION: Try to keep in mind that it is not the end of the world.

And, as always, for generalized anxiety, making lists! And dancing! Hang tough everyone!

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DATE: Feb 28 2011, 12:09 pm / MOOD: Anxious

Let's start with some good news....

If you have read my past blogs, you will see that my Mom's cancer recurrence has been upsetting me. I am very happy to report that the chemo miracle pill they have been giving her is working perfectly, and her bloodwork tumor markers are down to normal. Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts.

I am going to skip the long crappy details of what is bothering me. What it all boils down to is that you can't control other people's behavior, no matter how many suggestions, alternatives, ultimatums and pleads you give them. My big fear is that someone else's behavior is going to hurt me emotionally and become my problem to fix.

These fears are consuming me. I no sooner calm down about health issues and I replace it with something else that isn't even really my problem. I am constantly afraid.

If anyone has any specific tips for dealing with controlling fear, nervous tummy or words of wisdom regarding worrying about other people actions, please share them with me.

I feel like I tell everyone I know every day that I feel anxious and I need help and no one has any suggestions.

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DATE: Jan 06 2011, 2:27 pm / MOOD: Anxious

I love making lists and calendars, it makes me feel more in control. But today as I look at my calendar for January and Feb I am afraid something will come up and I won't be able to do the fun things I have planned, or even live the life I have been living! I wonder why I feel this way?? My Grandma is on hospice so I am a little afraid she may pass away and I have to travel for her funeral. My Mom has a checkup, but her chemo is going really well. I am a little low on money, but that's nothing new. Even if all these things happened why do I feel like my whole life might change? I should focus on the happy things!!! I am going to Nashville with my Fiance, I am seeing Barry Manilow in concert! I am having a girls dinner with my college friends! I am going to be in an art show! These are happy things that I am afraid I won't be able to do I guess. One day at a time, right?

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DATE: Sep 27 2010, 10:28 am / MOOD: Curious

 I know a lot of people with anxiety have physical symptoms of it.  I never did except for a nervous tummy.  But lately I have had symptoms crop up when I am relaxing.  If I am laying down or watching tv or about to sleep when I am not stressed at all.  My leg will twitch, or I will dose off and wake up with a start.  I have had mild and fleeting irregular heartbeat accompanied by mega-scary gas (lovely I know).  I got terrified that I had a neurological disorder, but after some poking around on the internet I found out it is quite possible that my stress/anxiety is connected or causing an overactive nervous system and it takes my body longer than my mind to wind down sometimes. Anyone familiar with this kind of thing?

Have a great day everyone!

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DATE: Sep 17 2010, 12:11 pm / MOOD: Frustrated

 When you feel anxious, do you like to have others around you?

Here is why I am asking....

My Mom is a cancer survivor.  She goes through intensive tests, scans and follow-ups every 3-4 months.  She travels across the county for this.

I have gone with her every time for the past 2 years.  I have an older brother who hardly ever helps.  I also have an older sister who lives in that part of the country who refuses to help.  I have missed work and cancelled vacations to do this.

I suffer major anxiety during these trips.  I can't sleep.  My stomach is sick the entire time.  When I come home I have nightmares for weeks.  The reprieve of good news is too short because then we start worrying about  test results for the upcoming trip.  

Last time the doctors spotted tiny nodules on my Mom's lungs.  Very small, they want to do another scan and bloodwork called "tumor markers" in October.

My Mom asked me to come with her.  I said no.  My fiance is being honored for his work and we have a trip planned.  I also don't want to go in general, it brings my anxiety level up way too high.  My brother and sister should help.

My Mom forgets all the good I have done and calls me a dissapointment, lumped into the same unhelpful and ungrateful category as my brother and sister.  She says my priorities are out of whack.  She says I don't care that should potentially get horrible news and be all alone.  She says she is not angry, but now she only says 2 words to me when I talk to her on the phone and won't look me in the face when I see her.

I understand that she is scared, but she is too wrapped up in her fear to respect where I am coming form and all I have done.

Obviously if she gets bad news and needs help, I will be there, just so you all know.

I try my best, if I say no to something it's because I absolutely have to for my own sanity.  My best is not good enough.

I want my parent back.

 

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DATE: Sep 01 2010, 11:20 am / MOOD: Thankful

 "impossible!"  You say???

Well here I am.  I am an average young woman that despises her cell phone.  I am always afraid I will get bad news and have to drop everything.  Maybe I am not afraid of the phone, or even afraid of bad news.  I am afraid that I will have to drop everything for whatever reason and go handle some crisis.  I am angry that certain people in my life call on me for help for things I really think are unreasonable.  I am angry that the call comes at all.  Tone does a lot for my anxiety level.  Sure, tell me about your crappy day!  But don't do it in a way that makes me think you are going to die over it!

my brother was fired form his job.  They wouldn't let him take breaks long enough to take his diabetes meds.  It was a terrible thing to do to him and not his fault.  However, he has had suicidal tendencies before, in which I got a call from a stranger telling me to come over and "handle it."  Now I am constantly looking at my phone, afraid it is going to ring and my Mom will want me to go over so her and I can just stare at him, or to come over because she can't handle his depression on her own, or god forbid a call saying he took some kind of action.

 

Then when I have to leave work or whatever, everyone will think I have too much drama in my life and I am lumped into that drama that I so badly want nothing to do with.

I just have to remind myself that I am not 15 anymore.  I no longed depend on my parents to drive me around, feed me or even live with.  I don't have to sit in a room with hysterical people anymore.  The question is, am I in that room in my head regardless of where I go?

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DATE: Aug 31 2010, 9:23 am / MOOD: Okay

 Hi Everybody,

I just wanted to say hello.  I am very glad I found this online forum.  I am looking forward to making friends and helping others as well as getting some feedback for my situation.

I know it is common for people to not always know what triggers anxiety, I know exactly what does it for me.  I would like your opinion:

When something is upsetting my Mom, she gets very mean and down, and every small thing in her life is over-done with emphasis.  Right now she is scared because she is a breast cancer survivor and she has a checkup in a few weeks because last time she had a scan they spotted some dots on her lungs.  I don't blame her for being scared, HOWEVER....

She leaves me voicemails that sound hysterical and she won't tell me what is wrong.  I call her back and my heart is pounding and I feel dizzy from anxiety.  It turns out she just had some minor annoyances that day.  Then the rest of the conversation she refuses discuss anything positive.  I understand that she is scared, but these phone calls upset my stomach and I feel sick and scared the rest of the day.  When we first found out she had cancer 10 years ago all the bad news came over the phone, and when she calls I am always afraid it is bad news.  Her attitude and conversations with her are putting me in a high state of anxiety.  I have told her this, and she basically says her feelings are more important than mine.  I want to be there for her, but my anxiety level is too high.

 

What do you think?  Am I being unreasonable?  Thanks in advance!

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