http://www.anxietytribe.comAnxietyTribe.com http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30215 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30215 My friend of years has suddenly decided not to talk to me anymore and I dont know why. My best friend told me in same converastion told me I care to much and asked do I care. I havent felt like this since my ex husband. There is no better, only gets worse. I am done. This site seemed great, but I am just as alone as before now just with more people who know how screwed up I am Wed, 8 Aug 2012 15:08:56 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30166 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30166 I went to write to you and could not find you listed Sun, 5 Aug 2012 20:08:38 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30056 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30056 to many moods to pick one. It has been one thing after another after another today. I got guilted into babysitting tomorrow night after my mother swears I said I was doing it instead of her, such BS. If it wasnt for my niece crying in background wanting to come here and not her house I wouldnt be doing it. ThenI come to find my punishment for my water company letting me only pay half my bill was a charge for $58. I already cant afford it so they charge me more and people wonder the hell is wrong with our economy.Rich get rewarded and poor get crapped on. And I was right, my best friend didnt show so alone I am. Thu, 26 Jul 2012 18:07:20 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30054 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30054 The day hasnt really gotten any better. Work has been so slow today its left me with nothing to do so my mind races as time drags. My ex is in NY with his family. I miss them, I loved his family and our trips there. It was always such fun and I am going to miss my stepdaughters baby shower. I talked to her and could hear everyone laughing and talking in background and makes me want to cry. I am here alone. My best friend was supposed to come over this evening to put up the ceiling fan in my daughters room and I havent heard from him and unless he surprises me that means he isnt coming AGAIN. So another night of just me missing him. Just wish this day would hurry up so I could get it over with Thu, 26 Jul 2012 13:07:37 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30050 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30050 You ever wake up and are already have a bad day before it really even gets started good. That is my morning so far. Before even out of my neighborhood someone cuts in front of me and then drives 10 miles below the speed limit. If that would have been it I would be OK, but little things like that have been happening since. I hope that is the worst of it and the day gets better and this isnt a forshadow of the rest of my day. Thu, 26 Jul 2012 08:07:42 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30039 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30039 It Wednesday, week is over halfway done. Yesterday I got to go white water rafting and rock climbing. It was so much fun, had never been before (rafting). Was happy to get to do something fun Hope I get to do it again Wed, 25 Jul 2012 18:07:32 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29979 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29979 Its been a weird day. Woke up kinda early for no work. Went for a walk, cleaned up back yard a bit (this is bit of a process, my ex left it quite a mess, I am was one step above if you mow your lawn and find a car, you might be a redneck, lol), painted my daughters nightstand, and mowed part of lawn. Now sitting here a little sad and angry. I work full time and still barely make it, its so tight this week it may not be enough. But I see others who dont work half as much who have it so much better. Broke to them is they cant afford to eat out for the 3rd time that week. I am stressing about keeping gas in my car to get to work until I get paid. Just dont understand it Sat, 21 Jul 2012 20:07:09 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29967 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29967 I had a good couple days but today has been so so . Worked from home to save money on gas. Work was slow so cleaned most of the day now just sitting here. Its been raining pretty hard and we got flood warnings all around and one of malls even flooded. My home flooded a few years ago and so I am really nervous. I dont see me getting much sleep tonight Fri, 20 Jul 2012 20:07:23 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29941 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29941 I woke up smiling this morning despite the disaster of last night. And here it is several hours later and I am still smiling. Thu, 19 Jul 2012 09:07:38 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29928 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29928 Really bad night does not even come close. I come home to find out my water has been turned off. They swicthed my water service a couple of months ago and I made my last couple payments to the wrong place. Now I am SOL and its my own stupid fault. Its to much, I cant take anymore Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:07:57 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29906 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29906 I had a good weekend (again minus the sunburn) but so far the week is not off to a good start. I sit again waiting and didnt get clarification around what time. Waiting does not do well for me. I am so anxious and got that out of control feeling. Its been a long, trying day. I am really stressed about money like so many others. Work has been particularly stressful this week. My vent for the day.....I know it sounds silly but the girl who sits in the cube next to me drives me crazy. I really wish they would move her. She sigh and makes weird noises and talks loudly to herself and laughs out loud all day every day. Normal every now and then sounds wouldnt bother me but its constant. Its like someone runnning nails on chalkboard. Its hard to wear headphones loud enough to drown her out because then I cant hear when my boss calls me or when someone comes over. I have sat in close proximity to people since I started at this company almost 8 years and never had anyone bother me lke this. Tue, 17 Jul 2012 19:07:43 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29850 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29850 OK so today took a turn and for once for the better. Got to go swimming after all and despite an argument with my sister was a lot of fun. But I am REALLY burnt (arms, shoulders, back, legs). My niece came home with me and is keeping me company and from my usual attacks I have. We got Wendys for dinner and now sitting and watching tv and she is talking my ear off which I am enjoying. Hope everyone has a good night Fri, 13 Jul 2012 19:07:13 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29844 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29844 Well swimming got canceled and my sister has already called to make sure she still plans on me keeping my niece tonight. I have only been up 30 minutes and this day is already horrible. I took the day off work to do something fun and now I am stuck alone again staring at the walls. And the only thing my sister cares about is making sure she gets a night off swearing its my niece who wants to stay with me. I know my niece loves me and all but she doesnt want to stay here without my daughter. There is nothing for her to do, I dont have actual internet, all I have is an internet card so she cant get on the computer. Its supposed rain all day so she cant go outside. I dont have money to take her anywhere. So not only do I have to try and get thru this day I have to keep her entertained. Going to be a long day Fri, 13 Jul 2012 09:07:12 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29830 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29830 I finally slept last night, hope tonight follows suit. Today was OK, not really good but not really bad. My wait last night ended well. I was able to fix my vacuum tonight. I am supposed to go swimming tomorrow if it doesnt get rained out. Hope it doesnt, I took day off work to go and dont want another whole day with no distraction. Hope things turn out well Thu, 12 Jul 2012 21:07:44 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29814 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29814 I find myself in the same place I was two night ago, waiting. Last time did not end well and since hasnt gotten better. I have only gotten maybe 6 hours sleep in the past two nights together. I physically ache, not to mention the pain no one can see. I am so drained I feel like I am someone else. I try to be happy, look forward to things, smile, but something always rips me back to here. Sad, lonely, angry, hurt, crying, feeling completely out of control. I dont know how much more I can take before I just collaspe. Wed, 11 Jul 2012 19:07:29 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29769 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29769 People who are supposed to be my friends, who say they are my friends arent there when I need them the most. They leave me alone to deal with this by myself and make my pain worse. I am not even sure anyone would notice if I wasnt here anymore and if they did notice would the care, would anyone actually miss me. Think about me, wish they were around when I needed them. Or just go on like I was never there to start with, never made a difference, was never important Tue, 10 Jul 2012 18:07:51 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29739 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29739 I waited all night again for nothing. To tell someone I miss them and get nothing but dead silence. No concern. They get to go home and not think another thing about it and I get left here alone againg feeling so smal, like nothing. I have to get thru the night and then get myself up and go to work and put on a happy face and be the happy energetic person everyone thinks I am. I dont even know who that person is anymore. This is just to much Mon, 9 Jul 2012 21:07:49 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29736 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29736 Waiting, it gets me everytime andhere I sit again waiting feeling like I am going to lose it. The same thing happened to me last week waiting, I got so upset, so anxious. I had such a bad anxiety attack I felt like someone else took over my body and hit the wall, literally. Bruised my whole hand. I dont want to get to that point again but I feel like I am completely out of control and I dont know how to handle it, what to do. I have no way to know how much longer I will be waiting and the worst part if at the end of the wait I actually get what I am waiting or another dissapointment. My breathing is already shallow, I cant stop crying, and I am already shaky. I know I keep saying this but I just want it to stop. Mon, 9 Jul 2012 20:07:13 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29679 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29679 Its been a week from hell, full of dissapointments and letdowns. I have been nasuaseated for three days. I had to leave work early yesterday because I felt so bad and having to work from home today. I am so stresses and anxious. I feel overwhelmed, out of sorts, out of place. I dont feel like I am in my own home where I should feel safe and comfortable. I feel like something is ready to jump out of me and I cant control it. I dont know what to do anymore, how I can take much more of this. The mental/emotional strain is bad enough in itself but the physical is making it so much worse. I dont even know if the stress is whats caused it or if I got a bug or something, but its draining me. I just want the pain to stop Fri, 6 Jul 2012 07:07:37 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29627 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29627 To many moods to pick just one, I dont know why I bother anymore, everyone lets me down. I am alone, might as well just accept that. Things arent going to get better that is just an illusion people tell you because they dont know what else to say. Wishful thinking and hopefulness have gotten me nowhere but hurt. Cant try anymore Tue, 3 Jul 2012 20:07:46 -0500