http://www.anxietytribe.comAnxietyTribe.com http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30572 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=30572 I know I haven't been on here in a very long time. My Husband and I just currently moved from our old place to a very wonderful place we're in now. We totally love it here but wish it could of been closer to my Mom. We just went to the doctor two days ago and found out that we're going to have a beautiful Baby Boy! We have got his name ready for when he arrives in January. His name is Carson Lowell Gildner. They did the ultrasound and we wanted to know he's so healthy and he's already 11 ounces. I have had no problems recentlly except for going into the hospital a couple weeks ago with bad chest pains and come to find out I have a enlarged heart and lympth nodes bothering with it. My doctor is so good about getting things taken care of that she is wanting me to see a lung doctor to make sure I don't have anything serious going on. Hopefully there's nothing going on with any of that. I know that everything is going to be just fine. As for being healthy we're both healthy eating wise and all of that. We just have one growing baby that's for sure. We will post pictures eventually but I can say I'm one proud Mom to be to my adorable Son that will soon be here. My Husband is just anxious to meet his Baby Boy. Can't wait!! My whole family is excited about all of this, especially my mom is this will be her second Grandchild. She already has a Grandson from my sister and now there's another one on the way from me lol. Anyways thought I would do an update on here since it's been a very long time. Hope to update more on here when I can get the time to do so. Hope Eveyrone is doing great. I have to get going so I can get things done around the new place here. Loving the Life with My Husband, Our Baby Boy and Our Families. Fri, 7 Sep 2012 13:09:39 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29337 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29337 Well I started packing the apartment lastnight with my husband but there's lots and lots of stuff yet to still go through and pack up. I'm trying to do all of this packing gradually cause I'm starting to show with the baby and I don't want to get too big and then start packing and have complications while doing it lol. Early start is always great that's for sure. Anyways thought I would take a quick break for a minute and make a post of it for the heck of it lol. I'll be back on later to write some more. Mon, 18 Jun 2012 11:06:43 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29312 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29312 So now that we got the Wedding Accomplished and over with and on our happy ways. My mother-in-law has decided for quite some time that her and my husbands dad are splitting up and going their own ways. She's moving out of Ohio and to CT to live with her sister up there. My husband's dad is moving into the downtown area of Columbus, Ohio and his sister is moving with her mom as well. Their all leaving with the packed truck on Tuesday morning for CT. Today we're going out there and having one last dinner with her before she says goodbye to all of us. We will only get to have contact with her by email and phone that's it. This is very hard for my husband right now cause that's his mother leaving but we both have our life to start with eachother knowing that we have a little one on the way. We're at least hoping that we have somewhat of a contact with his father but we don't know how long he'll stay in Ohio either. We feel kind of left out but we know that they want this for themselves and that they need to move on if they know it's right for eachother. I don't ever want to face something like this with my husband and kids cause I know we're keeping faith and love and laughter in the marriage at all times even though we have our ups and downs but who doesn't. I know it's going to be tough at first for all of us with her leaving for CT and it's also gonna be hard to see his sister go to but she's coming back for college and work and then she's leaving for New York for college as well and leaving her boyfriend behind is a tough thing as well. I have faith in them that they will choose the path God wants them to follow and learn from. I know as of right now with moving his mom and helping her pack we're also packing our place as well and moving closer to my mom's. Cause right now where I live I can't do the stairs much longer cause of my foot and being pregnant. I'm 8 weeks today and I'm super excited about all of this. I just hope everything works out for the best and we find a place very very soon. Sun, 17 Jun 2012 10:06:29 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29238 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29238 I know I haven't been on here since I got Married on the 9th of this month. The wedding was perfect couldn't ask for a better wedding than what we had. I have lots and lots of pictures to post so be looking for them. It was such a beautiful wedding that's for sure. I'm so happy my life is back on track now. Thanks so my husband and God in my life and everyone else there to support me in it. Now we're focusing on our lives together and the baby that is growing inside of me which is going perfectly fine. I can't wait to be able to hold my little bundle of joy. It doesn't seem that long of a wait to be honest. Anyways will write more blogs soon. Got lots of things to put away from the wedding and get back on track with my husbands work and everything else going on in the real world away from the wedding. lol Pictures soon I promise. Thu, 14 Jun 2012 16:06:43 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29104 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=29104 Well today I went for my second Ultra Sound to see if they could see the baby. They saw the baby and we saw the heartbeat. We even got to hear the baby's heartbeat. Very strong and healthy heartbeat. We both teared up that's for sure. It's so heartwarming to finally get to see our baby and hear it's heartbeat. We got two pictures of the ultrasound as well. I'm now 6 weeks and 4 days today. The doctor told me that the baby and I are both very healthy and the baby is growing fast. 1.14cm is the size of the baby so far. It's not a peanut anymore. I'm just happy that God has blessed me with a wonderful miracle. Tomorrow is my Fiance's Birthday and his sister's as well along with her graduation party and then we're heading south to help decorate for the Wedding on Saturday. Can't wait we'll be married soon. I'm going to post all the pictures when we're done and we get home for the night. Can't wait!! Thu, 7 Jun 2012 15:06:16 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28997 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28997 Well I went to the doctors yesterday with my mom, fiance, his mom and a good friend of ours from chuch. They were all there for my support that I needed. I went in and saw the doctor and they said that everything is perfectly fine my levels are up now and they said that it is too early to see the baby but I'll be 6 weeks on Monday. They want to do an ultra sound next thursday at 8am to see if they can see how the baby is progressing. Hopefully they can tell if not may still be early but they wanna check on that. I'm super excited to hear that I'm healthy and everything else is healthy as well. After my appt. I went with my fiance, his mom and my mom and our good friend and we all went out to eat to celebrate the good news and the upcoming Wedding a week from today. We're both super excited about all of this very much. Then after we went out to eat my mom and I and fiance went grocery shopping and that was a blast but tiring too soon lol. Then we met with our DJ at 7pm and all the music is set for the wedding. We're ready to have this wedding that's for sure. God really has done his work on my fiance and I and bringing us closer together. We're so blessed that's for sure. So anyways we'll be in touch and with Wedding Pictures on here. Can't wait!! Sat, 2 Jun 2012 12:06:11 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28934 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28934 So I finally got into see a doctor this coming Friday in the morning. I'm hoping they give me good news that I want to hear. I haven't had any more complications with that baby. I was told that I'm halfway through my first trimester and I'm happy about that. I'm so anixous about this Friday and what they have to say to me. We're keeping calm and know that everything is going to work out just fine. I also know that Our Wedding is just next weekend as well and oh my goodness it didn't take long to get here. We do know for a fact that we are keeping this baby a secret for now til doctors find out what's going on and after the wedding we're going to start telling more people. We just want it to be a blessing for everyone especially us but know that this is a start to get our lives back on track and do what's best for us and the baby. We're super excited about everything though. Wed, 30 May 2012 14:05:02 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28908 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28908 So I know I shouldn't say anything just yet but I was just in the hospital on Sunday evening with my fiance and my mom. We got there about 10:30pm and didn't get to leave til 4am somewhere around there. I was having some problems before they took me and come to find out everything was alright but the only problem we're having right now is they did an ultra sound and they could see the sac but no baby. I have to get into the doctor this week and see if they can't do further testing to see if they can see the baby I found out i'm now 5 weeks and 2 or 3 days. I have read on some posts of websites that not always will you see the baby that early. The doctors are telling me that maybe it's too early to see the baby right now. I'm hoping that's all it is. I know I need to not stress about it but I want everything to be alright for us. The wedding is next weekend and we're all thinking about it for right now but also keeping this baby in mind as well. We told our parents and a few other people but we haven't shared this with the whole family yet until we actually see a doctor outside the hospital. So I hope the doctor comes through and we get an appt. this week and they tell me it's just too early to see the baby. I know I've been crampy but they said it's normal but I really don't want this to turn out bad or have a miscarriage but we'll both understand that if that were the case it was meant to be like that. Any suggestions on if 5 weeks is too early to see a baby yet. This will calm my nerves a bit more if it's true in most cases. Thanks!! Tue, 29 May 2012 08:05:50 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28859 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28859 Yesterday was my 23rd Birthday!! Talk about having an amazing day with the one you love well I sure did. We had a funfilled day that's for sure. We went out to eat and it was a beautiful view at the park to eat at I just loved it so much. Then we went out to the movies and watched "Titanic" in 3D totally loved it but it was intense knowing I've seen it before several times but it's been a while since then. I couldn't ask for a better fiance than I already have. Just to think about it there's only 15 more days til the wedding. Also to top it off knowing this wasn't planned but we're expecting a little bundle of joy on it's way. I was wondering why I was sick for two weeks starting on three weeks and I thought it was the flu so I figured I would go to the hospital to get checked out and so I did. We went there and found out that we're expecting. We both looked at eachother and was like suprised. We both told our parents and they were calm about it and was excited for us. I will say this I'm getting an appt. soon to see how far along I am. Everyone is telling me I'm a couple months out cause I'm showing already as it is. We are telling people little at a time just not too many before the wedding cause we want everyone to focus on the wedding and not the baby right now til we find out how long. We want everyone to know this wasn't planned and we don't want anyone to consider it a mistake, we want everyone to know it's a blessing from God and we want everyone to love this baby as if it were their's. We're gonna be great parents and know its a joy being pregnant and feeling a natural human growing inside of you. It's a wonderful feeling and I know for sure that when I deliver I'm gonna miss being pregnant but don't we all. I just can't wait for all of this to take place. We're looking for other places to move into due to the fact that we live in these apartments already and we live on the third floor so I don't think I wanna be climbing the stairs while being pregnant. Can't wait for all of this. Our lives are changing fast and we're loving every minute of it. Sat, 26 May 2012 00:05:15 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28764 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28764 So we found the DJ for our wedding and we are super excited. Everything else is all set for our wedding. The only problem I'm having is we're having the DJ come to our house here this Wednesday to go over the music and I just talked to my mom about how we want to walk back down the aisle exiting it that is. We want to use the Nord Electro 3 Church Organ and then add a Remix of that dancing down the aisle to make it fun I know we could do it but the only problem that i stepping in the way is my mother and sister. They want all the music their way and not our's and I really think it's our choice not theirs. I don't understand why we have to have all of this wedding their way. So far this has been a horrifying time of my life to get to plan my own wedding but to have it their way just the way they like it. I told my fiance that I feel like we're getting married under their supervision and have to obey what they want us to have at our own wedding. I don't know what to think about it anymore. Heck we mise well just get married in the freaking court house for all I care now at this point. Yes I'm frustrated cause they want me to have the perfect wedding as long as it meets their approval even the songs that we chose have to meet their approval. It's almost as if we can't wait to get this wedding over with and that's not how it should be. I thought both sides of the families were suppose to be happy and enjoy our day with us but it seems as if my family dont really care about that as long as they get credit for all of it. Please HELP!! Mon, 21 May 2012 12:05:51 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28697 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28697 So I know this is a start to my morning but I can't get this out of my head what so ever. My fiance left for work half hour ago for work. Before we even woke up so he could leave I woke up from a nightmare. I'm not going into the full matter of the nightmare but it's driving me insane. It's like what to do about it? What to say to my fiance? Should I even tell him or would it freak him out and make him uncomfortable and hurt inside? I just don't know about this. First off it all started with a guy that liked me and his friend. They ended up staying in my mom's house when I was living with her for some odd reason. They found a box of mine that had my stuff in it from when I was dating my fiance. The guy that liked me was very angry and agressive. So he gathered all of his stuff and said he's leaving. It was fine by me that's for sure. Then I went and picked up my fiance and he was in the passenger seat and he had the window down and next thing we know we run into the guys and they try to be better than us and walk past the car and all of a sudden my fiance held up the middle finger knowing he shouldn't of done that. The friend of the guy that likes me came back and grabbed my fiance's hand and literally twists his hand and finger trying to break it and here I'm sitting there yelling for him to stop and hoping there was a cop around but he keeps yanking his hand and finger and my fiance is trying to fight him off and hes yelling for help cause it hurts. I was going to get out and there was a cop that stopped it. Thank God. I looked at my fiance and his hand and omg it was awful. It was all my fault I told him. I feel ashamed. I just can't stand that nightmare it's driving me insane. I mean a part of me wants to tell him about it and a part of me doesn't cause it's painful and emotional that's for sure. I just don't know what to do about this. Can anyone please give me good advice on what I should do about all of this. Thanks Thu, 17 May 2012 07:05:16 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28684 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28684 Well everything is set for the wedding. Now if only June 9th would get here lol. Today it makes it exactly 26 days left before the wedding is here. We finally got a DJ for the wedding and the guy is professional and that makes me more at ease to know he's professional and has done weddings. Everything is starting to look up that's for sure. I have to say that today I'm fighting the flu and a fever but I'm up cleaning house cause Im not letting anything get me down anymore let alone everyone around me. I need to focus on my fiance and our lives together. June 9th we become one and I'm so happy for that to happen. I can't wait neither can he. About the friends thing I was just asking if its alright to make new friends that won't go beyond friends and want to try and do anything with me cause I totally won't let it at all since I'm getting married and my fiance makes me happy. I am just going to focus on my fiance and I and Our Wedding and me getting a job soon after the wedding. I can't go any longer without a job cause I'm tired of being at home and this foot is still giving me problems but I need to move on and do what I have to do to make a living along with my fiance so we can go out and do things together more often. Wed, 16 May 2012 14:05:18 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28658 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28658 So I'm sitting here thinking of so many things right now especially at this time of month due to my wedding is next month which is 26 days left in it. My Question that I'm trying to find the answer to is still a bit confusing to others but I just want to clearify to make sure I'm doing what I need to do. The question that I have to ask would be: Is it a horrible thing to meet new people and become good friends with them even if I'm getting married? I know not to make it into something more with these people but I have been told that making and becoming friends with new people may be dangerous especially with me getting married. I have morals and standards and I know that no one would ever cross any of them that's for sure. I just need an answer to it all cause it's driving me totally insane and I don't wanna feel like I'm being rude to anyone by letting them down and not being able to be friends with them. I mean there are some people that I wish I never met but it's no one off this website I promise. I just sometimes find myself walking in the wrong path and I just wanna be able to have friends that I can share with my fiance and we all become good friends instead of just me that way it's fair to him. Please help me and this situation before I go crazy lol!! Thanks Tue, 15 May 2012 08:05:53 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28615 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28615 Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mom's out there. Sun, 13 May 2012 12:05:22 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28519 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28519 Well I just got news the other day that I'm still dwelling on. My fiance's mom told us that the guy that is friends with my fiance's sister can't do the dj for our wedding. Due to my fiance's sister breaking up with her old boyfriend to go out with another guy her friend that wanted to do the dj for our wedding wants to go out with her and she told him no. So now we're screwed for our wedding in having music or a dj to do that for us. So now we're on the look for a DJ once again. My fiance's mom told us not to worry about the little things but to think about it I believe this is a huge matter especially having music or music to even walk down the aisle to. This just sucks so now the stress is on that's for sure. Tomorrow I'm going shopping for the rest of my wedding stuff that I need to get and we'll be set on all of that but that's about it. I can't wait but now I need to worry about finding a DJ and this is most of my worries that nothing will come through. Need some advice that's for sure. Tue, 8 May 2012 16:05:07 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28442 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28442 So tonight was a eventful night that's for sure. My fiance and I got a storage unit since we live in an apartment for now. We had left over stuff out at his parent's house which they only live 15 mins from us so we went out there and loaded up the cars and took the stuff to the storage unit. I'm so stressed cause my fiance can never get over everything or let go of things in that matter. He has to keep everything and it's becoming a hording situation and I have to help him before it gets too bad like it's already becoming. Most of the storage is his stuff not mine I only have holiday stuff in there and maybe a couple of things but that's it nothing else. When we put more stuff in there tonight I got so frustrated at him now we can't even walk in there at all. It's packed to the ceilings and I just gave up and walked away and got in the car and waited for him to unload the truck. I don't know what to do with that stuff I mean I know it's not mine and it's his but he needs help with hording things and let go I know they're memories but sometimes you just have to let go of what you can't store anymore or have room for. He's only paying $70 for the storage unit but still that's not the point. Now I know why people say don't keep too much stuff cause it sucks to have to move that stuff when you move to a new place. Great advice would totally help right about now especially when I don't know how to control how I feel about the situation. I want to help but I just can't find the right answers or solutions to illiminate some of the stuff that's in the storage unit. He is willing to go through the stuff one last time and downsize but he collects computers, vaccum cleaners, and everything else you could ever think of that's for sure. If anyone has advice please help before it's too late! Thanks So Much!! Thu, 3 May 2012 21:05:55 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28401 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28401 Super Excited 38 days to go and I'll be married to the love of my life. It's been a rough road but I want new beginnings to start soon. We both can't wait to get married. Everything is almost ready to go. Everything is bought and set. Just a few little things that need to be taken care of and we'll be just fine for our perfect Wedding Day!! Can't Wait!! Wed, 2 May 2012 20:05:36 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28255 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28255 I'm so over my head right now it's not even funny at all. If only things would move forward they would be better but they're not. I thought today would of been better than any other day that I've had since the ex was in the picture. Now my fiance is giving me hell because he doesn't wanna help out with the wedding at all. Let alone he doesn't wanna go anywhere with us to pick out some things that are the last minute ones. It's almost as if he doesn't want any part in this wedding. i know they say that the Bride's family plans the wedding but this wedding was a last minute one planned but we had 3 months in the planning as it was. So we have plenty of time but when May 1st gets here it's the countdown til the wedding is here in June. I just wish things would be so much easier for me and to know I'm marrying the right person that wants to be a part of it with me and my family and to know everything is going to be alright. I know that things can get out of line and frustrating but he needs to step it up a bit and be a part of his own wedding that's for sure. I just don't know what to do but to stay strong but it's hard when you don't have that connection with your own fiance when it comes to planning something that's going to change your life. I guess I'm just so excited that I want everything to be memorable and perfect but he's the part that's missing. So Idk that's all I have to say. Tue, 24 Apr 2012 10:04:38 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28236 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28236 So the last time that I was on here I had mentioned something about my ex coming back into my life to be friends. Well that's over now as of today. He was pushing through mine and my fiance's life and was trying to kick him out of it. I wasn't about to let that happen although I let him get the best of me where he kept making me feel horrible for him. I didn't mean to hurt my fiance in the process but I did and I have talked everything over with him. The wedding is still on and I'm thankful for that. The other thing that my ex tried to do is get me to say yes to the ring that we went and bought for me after he knew I was getting married in June of this year. I just hate that when my life is about to change from being engaged to being married an ex has to step in. I just finally learned how to say no to a lot of things in my life and I'm working on building my life stronger now with my fiance. I just need some support and help along with advice from everyone to help me stay strong. I know for a fact that my ex is moving out of this state far away from me so that'll work out for me to not be around him. I just don't understand how I can be so stupid at times and fall for anything around me. That's why I need to open my eyes and know my fiance has been so fairly true and so honest with me that I need to stand my ground and not let him down anymore for my stupidness. I know everyone says you learn from your mistakes but I keep making them. I hate the feeling but I'm always up and honest with my fiance when it comes to that situation in life. I know what I'm going to do although I'm not suppose to work just yet til the foot doctor tells me but I'm going to go get a job so I get my mind off things and back on track for this wedding. No wonder they say it's best not to get back in contact with your ex's. Oh well I learned a lesson well done. Just need advice that's all. Thanks Everyone!! Mon, 23 Apr 2012 11:04:02 -0500 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28096 http://www.anxietytribe.com/rss.php?header=blogs&id=28096 So this has been a big change for me in the past couple days. I was contacted by an ex of mine asking how I was doing. We basically ended our relationship back 4 years ago. We wasn't really mad at eachother we just went different ways and left it that way which was better than nothing to be honest. Well he found out that I'm getting married June 9th of this year and he is crushed but he totally understands that after 4 years I moved on with my life to something that God handed me. He said he knows I was crushed and hurt and held a broken heart deep inside of me but he said from the day him and I started dating to now he has never stopped loving me even though he hasn't been a part of my life for the past 4 years and he feels totally miserable. To be honest he's a great guy and I know he's not here to mess things up. My fiance knows him and I talk and he has no problem with it as long it is just friend conversations which it is for most part but to mention that he does bring up the past. I know he's hurting as well and still holds feelings but he knows I'm getting married and a part of me feels bad but I know I can't let the past come back and get me and come between my fiance and I after doing all of this wedding planning. If anyone has any advice please help me out here. My feelings for him are mutual but like I told my fiance when you have a past with someone and the relationship that you had ends on a good note usually those feelings are still there if it were true at that time but know that when you part it was for a reason cause we felt there wasn't nothing in common but they also say that if you date someone and you don't work out in the long run then you both part and see other people or do whatever you want with your life and if you both get in contact again it seems like a sign but not always. I do care about him but only as a friend. Nothing is ever coming in between my fiance and I we're getting married in June and that's a promise to my fiance I'm not a heart breaker and never will be. Just thought I would ask for a little more advice about this matter that way it helps me overcome the feelings that I do have for my ex as a friend and that I don't get suckered into something stupid in the long run if he decides to get jealous and then try to pursue me and my feelings. Advice would be great!! Thanks!! Sun, 15 Apr 2012 05:04:30 -0500