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May 19 2008, 5:24 pm / Disappointed
Today i cut myself i know this is bad but i needed to as last night my whole family went out to someones celebration of life and we had to climb 32 stairs to get to the room i was not to bad but when i got there i started to have a panic attack so before it got to bad i went down the stairs and stayed ouside to get some water and to try and calm down. In the end my dad had to take me home and stayed at home with me. I feel like ive let down my family as last night wasnt about me but about someones life, why cant i just be normal for once, without fearing about everything. I knew i had to climb 32 steps but i thought i could do it, you see i have to look and check out every place before i go. I also feel like i mess up everyones life by saying the wrong thing and i make them hate me, im meant to phone my therapist but i cant.
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