Anxiety

DATE: May 01 2009, 5:30 am / MOOD: Other

Some of you know i have been coming off Diazepam for several years now.

About 9 years ago i went to my doctor and asked for Diazepam as i knew it was the only thing that would help me, all other meds did nothing to ease the anxiety and panic. He agreed to give them to me as i said i knew what prolonged use of it would do to me (not knowing the withdrawal though).

3 Years ago i decided to come off it as it was not helping me anymore and just making things worse. Now i found out what a bitch it was to get off of it, within a few days i would start sweating, anxiety levels went through the roof, constant disassociation, visual distrubances and inabilty to focus on anything. Sometimes i would be shaking and around the 2 week point all hell would break loose, i would be hit with  panic attacks that would last for 5-6 hours and nothing i did eased it. For up to 12 weeks from a drop i would be constantly anxious and having 10 or more panic attacks a day.

This is how it has gone on all through the coming off of it although due to another med i was prescribed the last 2 have been easier.

Today i am free of diazepam and will never ever take it again. I am extremely pleased with myself for accomplishing this as i have been told by a doctor and psychiatrist that some people never get off it as it s too hard and that it is very like heroin withdrawal. It has been the hardest thing i have ever done and even though i have said lots of times "i am not doing that again" after a drop, i have stuck with it and overcome all obstacles.

A determined mind will ultimately win in the end.

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DATE: Jun 20 2008, 6:13 am / MOOD: Happy

I just want to say thankyou to everyone that said happy birthday to me. I really appreciated it and it made me happy to know so many of you took time out to write to me and wish me well.

Thankyou all again.

Michael

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DATE: Mar 18 2008, 4:54 am / MOOD: Other

Well it is Tuesday.Just a normal day until i realized in 2 weeks i have to drop 1mg of diazepam(valium).I have to wait until i have seen my psychiatrist before i do.Needles to say it is caused me a little trepidation.I used to be on 16mg but i'm down to 2mg so not far to go.

Every time i drop i know it will mess me up for 10 weeks.Constant anxiety and panic attacks every day.It will be hell but i know it's got to be done.Saying it has to be done still doesn't take away the fear of what is to come.It is really my own fault that i'm in this position because i knew how addictive it is are when i started on it.They havn't even done anything for me in years so all i'm doing is feeding the addiction.

Still,only 2 more drops and i will be free of this drug.

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