Jun 10 2012, 8:47 am / Lonely
They try at all angles to attack, usually from the back.. Im hated. The question is: can I work through it until the power is gone. Ive walked back into middle class America to use these people that I may purge myself from my past. It is working. How ever the black widows are aware.. There fangs are drawn. They can only move so fast. I cant see them all, I can be attacked at any position... Im still sick from being born, being in a horror family system and from being in this society. I feel alone most of the time.
Im accepted only because it would make them look bad: they must keep up appearances to the other vampires.
The fact that Im an honest man has no value to these people. Honesty does not fill the pockets of those that worship greed.
A deeper understanding of filth rides in there minds. Im just a hitch Hiker. I don't know where I will get off. I don't know where Im going. Everywhere I look its the same block, the same people. The same lies... its all a lie.
I mean nothing to them.. I have to remember this is all a lie. This whole experience.
They try to blame me, or scape goat me that I be pushed back to the floor of no status. That is the idea. I hate having to be around any of these people or this society that I get better. I have to. Its like taking Chemo therapy. I have to.. God be with me..
Don't mind me. I have to do this; write these things before I go to the enemies gates... Its the only thing that keeps me sane in an insane world.
A dull form of anxiety, like a big bad bowling ball, will be with me all day...
Im waking up!, But waking up into what?