Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Dec 06 2006, 9:22 am / MOOD: Other

I feel like I  have too many ups and downs. I was feeling very assertive and confident a few days ago. (I love that feeling) I called a few people and didn't get stressed (I feel a little hyper in this mode) like I made all those calls within a hour. Then yesterday and today I feel down. I feel like my reality is really skewed. I feel like I don't  have any confidence. I don't even want to go to the grocery store (I will feel like everyone is looking at me) And I know that is an utterly stupid thought. Like anyone gives a hoot. If I had gone to the grocery store a few days ago i probably would have smiled said hello to people. What is the difference in a few days? I just don't get it. I even feel like my husband is more distant during these times. Am I going crazy???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

View Entry | Leave A Comment

DATE: Oct 24 2006, 5:24 pm / MOOD: Don't know

I think I was starting to get overwelmed by how fast this site was growing. I had a few friends when I started and everyday I tried to keep up with them. I would add new friends each day. I was getting a little obsessed with this site.
I think taking a few days away from here made me realize that I need to use it as coping tool. I have made a few friends that I will keep in contact with. I just don't want to use it as a crutch. This place is great so I will most certainly be visiting it once or twice a day. Just not hours.

View Entry | Leave A Comment

DATE: Oct 06 2006, 9:06 am / MOOD: Angry

My neighbor called me about 9:30 last night. I didn't feel like picking up but I did...shouldn't have. I have talked a few times to her and she is very nice. Last night I felt my brain and mouth were not working together. I felt so stupid my thoughts didn't come out the way I wanted them to. This is exactly why I didn't want to answer the phone. When I got off the phone I felt like an idiot. I am sure she thinks I am an idiot. When I went to bed I just kept thinking about it. My internal conversation wasn't good. If any one else talked to me like I do to myself I would tell them to go _______ themselves. So why do I treat my self that way?
The first thing I thought about this morning was that stupid conversation!!!!!! I have to get it out of my system and that's why I am writing it down. If I can't like myself who else will?

View Entry | Leave A Comment

DATE: Oct 04 2006, 8:47 am / MOOD: Lonely

Lately I have felt like I am going through the motions. We just moved a few months ago and It is hard to start over. We are still trying to sell the house. Paying for rent and a mortgage is crazy. I feel like there is a distance between my husband and I. I feel more like friends sometimes. I am afraid to tell him things I don't want him to think it is all him. I can't remember the last time he kissed me. To me kissing is more intimate then making love. He had a hard life growing up so I know he doesn't show affection well. I am the type that wants to cuddle here and there. Or just tell me you love me. Not just when we go to bed. If I don't feel loved during the day don't expect to want to jump into bed and turn it on!!
Wow it feels good to vent! When I do bring it up he is ok a few days then I go back to feeling the same way! I give him backrubs,write him little notes e-mail etc. I don't expect him to be as romantic as me but just show me in some way that you love me. Sometimes the words are not enough.

View Entry | Leave A Comment

DATE: Sep 16 2006, 8:59 am / MOOD: Don't know

I think my biggest issue with this disorder is that I never had any close friendships(other than my husband). I think having a good friend while growing up would have really helped me deal with things. I had friends but not anybody that I would feel comfortable with or trust to tell my thoughts and feelings.

I love my husband and I do consider him my best friend. I just feel I missed out on having a friend to just call when I wanted to share some good news. Or If I am having a bad day it would be nice to vent to a friend.

Now that I am in my thirties I feel it is even harder to get to know someone on a higher level. Everyone is busy with their family and kids. We all lead such busy lives now a days that it is such a challenge to fit in having a friend.

I hope as I grow and deal with GAD and SA issues that I can open up to people and make some lasting relationships.

View Entry | Leave A Comment