Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Oct 21 2011, 4:14 pm / MOOD: Anxious

so I was daignosed with type 2 diabetes yesterday and prescribed metformin 500mg 2x a day. I am TERRIFIED of pills! Last year I developed a life threatening side effect from an anti-anxiety med I was taking and almost died (the side effect occurs in 1 per million people) I finally got out of that place in my head where I thought I was gonna die constantly and now it's back. I took the new med this morning and about an hr later I started feeling dizzy and kinda off kilter. I feel fine now except for the anxiety but I'm wondering- did the medication do it or was it my mind playing tricks on me?? I'm so confused, I don't wanna die, I don't know what to do....

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DATE: Oct 12 2011, 4:35 pm / MOOD: Fearful

I went to see the dr yesterday and when I got home I was so proud of myself. I got my flu shot, talked to my dr about everything that was on my mind and had my yearly blood test done. I felt so accomplished, I didn't go into full blown panic and I didn't take any extra meds. I was on cloud nine yesterday. I felt like things were starting to finally come back around to a good place after the hell I've been through in the last year.

Let me give you a little background on the last year before I get into what's now going on. In june of 2010 I found out that I had developed a life-threatening side effect from one of my anti-anxiety meds. The side effect was called hyponetremia ( low blood sodium .) When I found out about it, it was a complete fluke. I had just had my gallbladder removed and when the ran a blood test to see if I had and infection in my blood they discover that my blood sodium was at 115 (normal is 136-145) which is low enough for siezures, coma, and swelling of the brain. I should, by all medical standards, have died. By the grace of GOD I came out physically un-harmed, although for the 4 months following the diagnosis I endurer over 150 blood tests, had to ingest 8,000mg of salt a day, and was only allowed gatorade to drink. At the same time that this was all happening, my sons father commited suicide and they had just found what remained of his body.

So, for someone with ptsd, anxiety, panic, ocd and agoraphobia, it was hell. I finally recently stopped obsessing about my health and mortality which brings me to today and the reason for this blog- The dr called this morning to inform me that my labs came back and I now have full blown diabetes. My question is why, why do I have to be crazy AND have so many health problems, why when things are going great do I have to get a new bomb dropped on me, just why???? I know that whatever happens is GOD's will, and it shall be done, I know not to question him, I know that his will, will not carry me where his grace cannot keep me. I'm just so scared. i have 4 children, three teenagers and a 4yr old little girl. I want to be there for them, I don't want to miss a moment of their lives and my baby girl is only 4. I won't know the severity or the plan of action until next thursday when I go back to see the dr. I know people who have been living with diabetes for most of their lives but I've also seen what can happen. 2 years ago I lost my best friend to diabetes complications and he was only 19. My fears are justified.... R.I.P Keith, you'll always be in my heart.

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DATE: Oct 10 2011, 2:03 am / MOOD: Sad

How can I feel so alone in a family of 5? I've been going through a rough patch with my anxiety lately, it's been a few weeks and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm angry most of the time and when I'm not, I'm sad. I've been telling my husband everyday that I need a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. We haven't been getting along too well lately and I'm sure that contributes to my anxiety. I look forward to spending time with him everyday, the only time we have together is after all the kids are sleeping, and everyday he finds something else to do. I feel so alone. I'm agoraphobic and I have 2 drs appointments this week so of course I'm stressed about that, the kids have been in over-drive, the anniversary of my fathers passing is coming up, it's all just building up. Tonight I was crying and he asked what was wrong, I told him everything that's going in my head and asked him if he could just support me. He listened (with his eyes closed) but didn't give me any feedback (my husband also suffers from ptsd and anxiety so you'd think he would be more simpathetic) As I type this he's lying next to me sleeping, I asked him to please talk to me, told him I needed his support and asked him how he can expect us to be close when I have to turn to strangers for support, he went to sleep anyway. I don't know what to do, we're growing apart and I know it. He on the other hand thinks everything's fine. He's snoring now and all I can think about is how many nights I stayed awake and helped him through whatever was going through. Oh well, it is what it is I guess. Oh yeah, our 7 yr anniversary is in 12 days and he has no idea ( I only know because I do the budget and all the money is accounted for) Thanks for listening to all who read this- Kelley

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DATE: Sep 26 2011, 9:21 pm / MOOD: Anxious

Sorry I haven't been on in awhile but I finally did it. We bought the house and moved in a few weeks ago. I am so thankful for all of your support, this is definitley the best decision I could have made. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, just being able to sit on the porch swing and stare off into the mountains has been more helpful than a years worth of therepy! No more constant knocking on the door, nosey neighbors or drama. I'm still adjusting to a new environment and my anxiety is a little high lately but I'm hoping that will pass in time.

I went to the dr the other day and of course, he immediatley wanted to put me on not one, but two new medications which would bring the daily total to 5. I told him I did not want anymore chemicals which brings me to my question- has anyone out there tried medical marijuana to treat panic, anxiety or ptsd? I've been doing a lot of research and I'm seriously debating on giving it a try. I figure the worst thing that could happen is I freak out and have a panic attack but it's not like I haven't been down that road before. I'd love any feedback our advice you guys could give me. I know, like any other medication, it's different for each person but hopefully one of you has had a positive experiance and I can ease my anxiety about trying it. Thanks everyone!

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DATE: Jun 17 2011, 3:10 pm / MOOD: Frustrated

So, I put in an offer on a house and I'm waiting to get the call to see if we got it or not. Here's the problem, with my agoraphobia I only leave my apt 4 times a year and that's to see the doctor. I absoulutly HATE living in this apt complex, kids everywhere, neighbors coming over 10 times a day, management inspections constantly, I can't even feel comfortable in my own home so I'm buying one away from all the people and chaos. I don't know what to do if I get the house. I want out of here more than anything but if I get the house, that means moving, which requires leaving the house. I guess I'm just scared. My mind tells me one thing and my body says another, I start to pack and I panic, the phone rings and I panic ( even though I'm praying that it's the owner saying we got it ) I know it sounds crazy. I'm being pulled in 2 different directions, what I want, and what I know I need. I don't know what to do or where to start. Any suggestions?

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DATE: Jun 17 2011, 1:25 am / MOOD: Okay

This is the first time I've ever been in a chat room or sought help via the internet. I live in a really small town and I've never met anyone like me. For the past 9 years I've suffered from panic,anxiety, p.t.s.d,agoraphobia and ocd. I have good days and bad days, I honestly don't even know why I signed up or even googled anxiety chat rooms, maybe out of desperation I guess. Maybe if I hear other peoples stories I won't feel like I'm crazy, all the doctors tell me I'm not the only one but it's hard to believe. When I tell someone that I only leave my house 4 times a year, they look at me like I've got two heads. I don't know anymore, I guess I just really need to talk to someone who can relate to me.

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