Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Nov 28 2007, 11:13 pm / MOOD: Sad

today, my mom was cremated, no service.  i didnt take a shower or comb my hair.  i just numbed out.  friends were supportive, but i couldnt feel it. the way i feel scares me.  i dont want to do anything, but i have to, i still need to take care of my family.  and i need to take care of all the  business that goes with dying.  i have to pack up her stuff, sell her furniture.  i dont feel capable of eating oatmeal, how can i do all this stuff

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DATE: Nov 23 2007, 5:31 pm / MOOD: Other

my mom died last saturday.  even tho i knew she was very ill, and so did she, i was not prepared.  even tho she had been in hoospital for 2 months, and  i tried to think about her dying.  it was not sufficient.  i feel so empty and abandoned and sad. i cry hard, but only for a few minutes, and it stops.  there have been a few days that i did not cry at all, and they were really scary, i just felt frozen, and without blood  or life.   people tell me, just let it flow, and it will get better.  but sometimes i feel like getting in the car, and driving and never coming back.

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DATE: Oct 16 2007, 5:10 pm / MOOD: Don't know

the demon twins, anxiety and depression, have come to stay and play at my house.


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