Anxiety Self Help

DATE: May 15 2012, 12:08 am / MOOD: Thankful

Whew! I made it through the first day. I'm not gonna say I didn't freak the f@(@$ out, I did. But despite my giant scrubs that make me look like an eggplant, giant intimidating books, and lots of homework, it went pretty well! The teacher was really laid back and cool and even though I'm anxious about going tomorrow, I know a little more of what to expect now. Take it day by day I guess. Thanks for everyone's great comments :3 I got home and talked to a special person and realized all this is worth it and I know if I stay confident I can do it. Yay.

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DATE: May 13 2012, 5:47 pm / MOOD: Anxious

I AM FREAKING OUTTTTT My class starts tomorrow GAHHHHHH!!!!!! I keep trying to not freak out but now its Sunday and I'm a hot @ss MESS!!!!

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DATE: May 11 2012, 1:08 am / MOOD: Anxious

Okay so today I went and registered for the medical program at the adult school. I am SO F***ING Scared it's crazy. But, the money's paid, and my scrubs are chosen, so I'm going. Monday. And ummm..Yeah I can't calm down about it. My therapist says I'm ready, and everybody I know is being super supportive, but I just get so damn nervous especially when it comes to doing well, driving places, etc. I know I'm going to be okay after the first few days or maybe more but this part sucks, being so anxious and trying not to let the anxiety take hold of me. UGH!!!!

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DATE: May 06 2012, 5:29 pm / MOOD: Tired

Ladies, do you suffer from anxiety/depression when it's your time of the month? I notice it's wrecking me emotionally right now and I wanted to know if I was the only one who felt this way.

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DATE: May 05 2012, 11:59 pm / MOOD: Anxious

I'll spare you the details but let's just say today was effing brutal. I just came down from a panic attack. I think my therapist is getting tired of me calling her. Argh! I might be starting school on the 14th!!!!! Help.

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DATE: May 04 2012, 7:14 pm / MOOD: Don't know

I went to see the school I'm enrolling into in July. It all looks really great and mellow. The school is for ummm...Computer training, and medical training. I'm going to do the clinical and front office medical training. It's on a little farm road with horses and everything. I know I'll be able to do it but I'm so tense. There is tension at home as well with me and husband basically living as roommates who argue once in awhile. I dont know how the next few months are going to pan out. It's like everytime I get out I start to feel better and then I get home and I'm worrying and stressing again. Yuck. ~J

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DATE: Apr 30 2012, 2:10 pm / MOOD: Other

This week I'm going to a school to possibly enroll in a Clinical Medical Assistant program. I'm going to talk to the lady in charge about it and she'll answer any questions I have. I'm freaking outtttttt. The program is from July to Sept. I keep worrying about every little thing this might entail, and then reassuring myself all over again. UGH. I've been depending on others for so long, it's like this is my first step towards freedom and it's terrifying. I dont have any plans for today either, which always makes me feel anxious and losery. Like if I'm not doing anything I'm worthless. I know, I know. It blows. I'll need botox from all the worry lines. Rant over. xx~J

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DATE: Apr 28 2012, 6:55 pm / MOOD: Tired

Ugh. Weekends.
My mom wanted to go to the farmer's market with me but I slept slightly too late so I only caught her there for the last ten minutes or so. I was able to do my shopping there, go to starbucks and work out at the gym closeby. Other than that, I feel like I can't do ANYTHING. I'm exhausted and don't want to go out. My husband and I had a talk today about seperating and it just kind of freaked me out even more. Let's just avoid that when I can handle it. He said the only problem we have is my anxiety and how we aren't compatible in the bedroom. Pretty serious if you ask me. Anyway, let's not get into all that. I hope everyone else is having a good weekend.

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DATE: Apr 27 2012, 6:04 pm / MOOD: Anxious

Ugh. I had a nightmare last night and woke up suddenly at 7am. I so did not want to get up then, and my nose was stuffed, so I took some nasal spray (which I'm addicted to...yeah). Then I woke up at 11:30 with extreme dizziness and rapid heartbeat. It freaked me out and I stayed at home all day. Even now I feel dizzy! Wtf. I looked up what afrin (nasal spray) can do to you with long term use, and sure enough, it was dizziness and rapid heart rate. It sucks when it couples with anxiety. I was rocking this week but now I feel like sh*t.

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DATE: Apr 26 2012, 3:35 pm / MOOD: Giddy

I know I know I shouldn't have coffee but I neeeeeed it and I love it! It's the hardest thing to quit for me, worse than cigarettes and alcohol. Ugh. In other news, yesterday I was able to go to the dentist and therapy alone. After I was even able to give my drug store a visit. As I was leaving, a giant gust of wind blew in and knocked things off shelves. It's been kind of stormy since then. I love it. Am I the only weird one that is soothed by gloomy weather?
Night time is still difficult with my anxiety. Even if I'm out all day and don't have panic, I still feel weird at night. Anybody else feel this way? xox~J

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