Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Jan 29 2007, 2:17 pm / MOOD: Disappointed

So I'm in class and this is the only site that is working I guess. I don't know. It's photography and Keli brought this girl to take pictures of and I don't know if I can do this without you. I can see when I close my eyes. I know you know. She f@cking covered, like I used to be. Open wound are enticing when they are self induced and I cannot be around this. I want to scream. I want an excuse to get out of here before I vomit. I don't do it anymore. I don't. I can't . I won't. But I <b>WANT</b> to. I want to stop staring but I can't. I know that feeling. The one thing in the world people can't take from you. The one thing you have. You tell yourself over and over again that it isn't worth it. Every  single scar has a damn memory behind it and none of them are good, Why do I want more? Erin!!! I would kill for you. I would kill to be out of here. I'm back in the room with walls made of mirrors and the reflections aren't my friends. The one place where I desire to die. The one place that I can leave this world and say goodbye to the damn demon inside that has been killing me all these years. Freedom in farewell with no more goodbyes. Why am I here.

 

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