Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Jan 13 2007, 8:46 pm / MOOD: Don't know

javascript:void(0); Reading all of these pages, comments...makes me worry that I worry to much. I guess I wouldn't be here unless I knew that was true. Years ago, I stopped wearing a watch because my anxiety level would raise so much when I was late! That was probably before it was customary to put clocks in cars (am I aging myself?). It was the only way to keep from panicking if I ran late. Now I breath and keep telling myself that there is nothing I can do. If I'm late, I'm late. As long as we do our best to get done what needs to be done, shouldn't we be able to stop worrying so much? I know it's physiological but I can't be on Lorazepam 24 hours a day. (Besides, I worry that I will become an addict because the disease is so rampant in my family!) I work full time. My whole life has been an Academy Award winning performance. Sometimes I find myself again and realize that no one really knows me. I am so separated from everyone. I am not the status quo. I don't like acting in a way that makes people accept me. I have always been fearful of not being accepted and at the same time refuse to give in to what is expected of me...but in a lot of ways, I do it everyday and it is getting tiring. I feel like I'm wasting my life away doing things I don't really want to do just to make others happy and accept me. I find my bee people when I come to places like this. I understand the fear when you walk into a party. I know about having a drink or two before you go to the party. I have stood on the floor of a packed concert arena and felt dizzy and faint. I can barely stand going to the mall. I never know who I'm going to think is looking at me funny when I go into work. Rare days are actually stellar, but most days are at least 50% filled with worry and paranoia. These days my biggest anxiety surrounds whether people believe I am in pain. My knees are shot, I may need surgery. I can't move as fast or as much as I used to. I constantly worry that people think I am using it to get out of things. No one has said anything. I know I'm in pain, I know that if I move too fast or too much, it will get worse. Yet, I still worry about what others are thinking. I can intellectualize anything, this all makes sense and I shouldn't be so worried but I can't get my brain to accept what it is and move on. I grind my teeth, I get headaches, my neck is constantly in knots, I have psoriasis...tons of annoying, anxiety related, illnesses. I am hoping by joining this community, I may be able to come up with new ways/ideas for dealing with anxiety. Take Care, DeeDeejavascript:void(0);

View Entry | Leave A Comment