Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Oct 10 2006, 12:18 am / MOOD: Disappointed

Well I was told that I'll have to take the ACT test to get into the nursing program!!!
So I decide to be all proactive and get workbooks from the library with practice tests and test taking tips. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!
There is no way I am going to get the score I need to get in the program.
I took one look at the math section and guess what came to mind - I'M ROYALLY SCREWED

I haven't even seen most of that stuff.

Now I feel old and stupid!!!!

Oh well - maybe I'll put it off until after I get done with this semester. At least then I will have a beginning math class under my belt.

Oh to go back in time and really pay attention in high school instead of skipping classes and smoking weed

Guess I knew someday I would have to pay for that.
xxx

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DATE: Oct 05 2006, 10:19 am / MOOD: Sad

Well sitting here wondering if I am ever going to be able to get up and get anything accomplished today.
The weather is crappy for the second day in a row and all I can think of is popping in a movie, making some popcorn, and vegging!!!
Why does rainy, cloudy, cold, CRAPPY weather do this to me??? Or maybe the better question is why do I let it??
Oh well - I guess there's always tomorrow.
xxx

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DATE: Oct 02 2006, 11:41 pm / MOOD: Happy

Well I made it thru my placement test
Was scared sh*tless considering it's been 20 years since I went to school and it didn't help anything to see a bunch of teenagers going in and out and thinking how they all must be stareing at the old lady going in to take an entrance test!!!!
But I DID IT!!!!
Got a 99% on the reading part which I was really happy about but the math kicked my ass!!!! Got a 16% on that one. Probably could've guessed all the answers and got a better score - lol
Still in the end I didn't let the anxiety win so it's a little victory anyway

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DATE: Sep 28 2006, 11:28 am / MOOD: Other

I take my placement test tomorrow at 1pm!!!
I am freakin - lol
Hope I don't make too big of a fool out of myself.
Wish me luck guys :)

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DATE: Sep 25 2006, 1:04 pm / MOOD: Disappointed

I have looked around and realized that the world is just passing me by!!!
Everyone around me has things in life to do and I am stuck here, bored, and quite disappointed in myself.
I didn't used to be like this!!!!
I was always the go getter that wanted to go and do and be all I could and now it feels like my life has just stopped.
I couldn't drive for the longest time and got myself back into that but still I'm stuck in this BFE town cuz I can't bring myself to go that far from home!!!
I've raised 4 kids damn it!! I should be able to handle anything that comes along but I find myself so afraid of being out in the world that I have secluded myself and now I have no one to talk to and nothing to do!!!! I'm just here, alone, watching the clock and waiting for the kids and the hubby to come home so I have someone to talk to. How pitiful is that???
So I have decided to do something about it!!!
I've enrolled in the local college to try and get some skills so I can get a job!!
Yes I am freaked out thinking about going but I have to take a step back out into the real world and try to take back my life!!!
I've let this anxiety run my life for far too long and it's time for me to say 'ok I may be scared and I may have anxiety but I want to live my life to the fullest'!!!!
Wish me luck all cuz I'm scared as hell - lol
BUT I WILL MAKE IT


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