Anxiety

A movie I recently saw "A Beautiful Mind" brought the following thoughts to mind:

You are a wonderful person. One of the big problems people with anxiety have is they are perfectionists, and this causes them to be unhappy with themselves no matter how they look or how smart they are. We carry all this baggage in our brains.

My favorite poet, John Milton, said in "Paradise Lost";

The mind is its own place

And in itself

Can make a Heaven of Hell

A Hell of Heaven

There is only one person who has control of our brain and can change it. That person is the one who owns the brain. Each of us, with much work, can teach our brain to let us live where we want, in Heaven or Hell. We may need some help to teach us how to do this, but in the end we have to make the decision about what kind of life we want and then do the work to train our brain to make our decision come true.

If you have not seen the movie, A Beautiful Mind, I recommend that you see it. This is a wonderful example from real life where someone makes the decision that they want to live in Heaven and then does the work to train their brain to follow that decision. He has a much more difficult problem to work than most of us.

You are not only a wonderful person, but more importantly, you are an intelligent person. You, like the rest of the people on this site, have the way to make your dreams come true and the ability to make that happen. It ain't easy; we have to decide whether we want it enough to work for it and achieve it.

Good luck to you, and I have confidence that you will achieve your dream and live the life that you want.

Anything I can dance to. Rock and Roll, Big Band, Latin, some Country and Western. The following video has some wonderful toe tapping music by some fantastic musicians.

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You Are 68% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

If blushing and running like hell is natural, they pegged me on this one.

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt. And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting. Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt. And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

I read this quote from Maria Shriver’s new book today. It seems to me that this is pertinent to everyone, but it is very pertinent to all of us at anxietytribe.

"I’ve learned that asking ourselves not just what we want to be, but who we want to be is important at every stage of our lives, not just when we’re starting out in the world. That’s because, in a way, we’re starting out fresh in the world every single day."

From "Just Who Will You Be?" by Maria Shriver. Copyright © 2008 Maria Shriver. Published by Hyperion. All Rights Reserved.

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Maybe this should be a blog, but what the hey. I won’t force anyone to read it. I am a work in progress, so there is no end to this story at this time. I hope someday to post a positive ending.

I have had social anxiety all my life. I remember it back to at least the first grade. I never ate in the cafeteria in grade school or high school because I was afraid the kids would be watching me and making fun of me. I spent high school fishing and hunting to stay away from people.

College was not easy, but I had to work full time so that and studying kept me away from people. I watched the girls from afar and dreamed. Missed a lot because of SAD.

Worked/Toured Europe(based in Sweden) in lieu of grad school. I thought this would help me get rid of whatever was wrong with me. They didn't have a name for it back then. I sweated and blushed a lot, but I did meet a lot of girls who introduced me to my favorite activities---kissing, cuddling, hugging, etc. (this is a pg 13 site).

Came home from Sweden to a job I lined up when I graduated. Apparently it worked out ok, because I was placed in a manager’s position after three years and spent the rest of my professional career in those kinds of jobs. It was kind of like the girls. I blushed and sweated a lot, but I loved it enough to put up with the pain. Lots of people involvement, presentations, speeches etc which were h**l but again the pleasure overcame the pain. Fortunately my company had a downsizing about the time I was at the end of the rope. I had a choice of getting promoted or taking a termination package. I took the package and started consulting from home, which I still do.

During those years, I went from psychiatrist to psychiatrist looking for an answer or a cure. I have yet to find one who knows anything about social anxiety and now they have become legal drug dealers. If I had the money I spent on doctors, I would be rich.

In 1993 I got on the Internet and started researching the subject and trying to find others with similar problems. "They" discovered what they called social phobia and started selling pills. Finally, they figured out it was not a phobia and changed the name to social anxiety. A few psychologists started doing research. Also a few had social anxiety and figured out how to work through it. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was born and research has shown that it is the best treatment at this time. Med support is sometimes necessary until the CBT reaches an advanced stage, but there really aren't any good meds so far that I have been able to find.

As I said before, I have yet to find a doctor/psychiatrist who understands what social anxiety is or what to do about it. Almost every therapist I have talked to claim they practice CBT, but when you work with them a few days you find that they don't have a clue.

I have found a few on the Internet who seem to know what they are talking about. Every one of them has/had social anxiety themselves. If you have it, the odds are you know more about it than any doctor/therapist you will go to. There are a few good books on CBT, but I have a problem using a book to work the problem. I bought the Step-by-Step tapes at the Social Anxiety Institute and have found them to be very good. To truly be effective, I believe one has to work with a dedicated social anxiety only group using such a technique. If you can find a knowledgeable facilitator, it will be even better. I am putting a few websites that I recommend for research/relationships for social anxiety in my likes category. Someone may be interested in checking them out. If anyone knows other good sites, I encourage you to post them for the aid of others on this site.

FAVORITE QUOTE: "Just do it, mind over matter" won't work with someone whose social phobia makes them afraid to go to a party or give a speech, says psychotherapist Jerilyn Ross. "That's like telling someone with a broken arm, 'just shake your arm out.'"


I like people or places who help. I am going to start listing online sites that may help some of us. If anyone has comments pro or con on any of them, please let me know.

CLINICS:

UNIVERSITIES:
Most of these have excellent links to informational sites, other centers, etc. A good research resource for someone trying to learn about anxiety, depression, treatment, etc.

Columbia University New York, New York
http://www.columbia-socialanxiety.org/index.html
I'm not sure if this is all research programs or if it is open to anyone with anxiety. They do offer free evaluation and if accepted to research project you are free to drop out any time you wish.

U.of Houston Houston, TX
Anxiety Clinic
http://www.uh.edu/anxiety/index2.htm
Anxiety evaluation, treatment, information, links

Temple University, Philadelphia, PA
Adult Anxiety Clinic of Temple http://www.temple.edu/phobia/ Director Richard G. Heimberg, Ph.D. one of the top researchers on cognitive behavorial therapy
(there is also a Child's anxiety clinic, http://www.temple.edu/childanxiety/)

Ohio State U. Columbus,OH
http://anxiety.psy.ohio-state.edu/informat.htm
Information and therapy.

NON_PROFIT CLINICS:

Social Anxiety Institute
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/
Director has/had social anxiety.
Source of information on anxiety and therapy

Shyness and Social Anxiety Treatment Australia
http://www.socialanxietyassist.com.au/social_phobia.shtml
Information and therapy contacts in Australia

GOVERNMENT SITES:

USFDA http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/1999/699_phobia.html
Interesting personal stories, some information

Your Social Anxiety Level: 64%

You have high social anxiety. You have a pretty serious social phobia, and it effects your life more than you may realize. It's possible that you've made yourself comfortable by avoiding situations you dread. But don't be fooled - you still probably need professional help.

I ran across this calculator that tells you how rich you are compared to everyone else on earth. It kind of puts things in perspective, at least for me. If you are interested go to http://www.globalrichlist.com/

You Are a Little Anal Retentive

Okay, so you're occasionally uptight, but it's not like you fill your day with little OCD rituals. You just like to exercise a little control over your life, and that's usually a good thing. As long as you limit your anal retentive ways to your own behavior, you're not annoying anyone. Deep down, most people are exactly like you.

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Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English 30% Dixie 5% Upper Midwestern 0% Midwestern 0% Yankee