need counceling
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By:
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heliotrope
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Mood:
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Frustrated
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Date:
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May 04, 2012
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Music:
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pychedelic furs
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i am so aggravated. i signed up for an HMO through medicare on april 30th. they told me that i would have health coverage within 48 hours. i know its only been a couple of days over that, but its still not in effect.
i really need a councelor. i have issues with nightmares and ptsd causing me mad anxiety at night. i have nobody to call because my family and few friends i left behind are sleeping on the east coast when this happens. i would've called Erik, but obviously that's not possible, he was either lying next to me or just a phone call away at any hour, and he new exactly how to deal with my illness and my quirks.
My aunt wants to take a trip down to the health care facility itself today and that gives me anxiety. i already used up my alloted valium for today last night. i'm trying to ground myself but my mind is spirlaling into what if's and should'ves. i can talk about my aunt another time. she's great, but she's in control of my whole life. its complicated. anyway.....i ended up calling my aunt that i live with from outside while i was smoking a cigarette at like 1am. she said i could do that before, but it scared her i think she thought i took her car and crashed it or something (i have a history of crazy breakdowns). bottom line im trying to maintain on my medicine alone when i need counceling like yesterday, ihope i can have a good day.
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