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it just keeps getting better (LOADED with....

crysrb
By: crysrb
Mood: Frustrated
Date: Jun 28, 2012
Music: None


The past couple of weeks have been bad enough, my daughter leaving for 8 weeks and being so lonely. Last night my best friend (also my ex boyfriend) tells me he is a getting a new phone, one which I cant text him anything I dont want someone else to see which is pretty much everything I text him. I trust him more than anyone and tell him everything. He was my safety net, my comfort while my daughter is away and now a big piece of that is gone. And with his GF being able to call him seeing him will be deminished as well. That was a big enough blow.


Now tonight my stepdaughter calls to inform me that her dad, my soon to be ex husband is engaged. The man who physically abused me when we first got married and then continued mentally abusing me until about 6 months ago (fir about 7 years) is now engaged to be married again while I sit alone and have no one to be with.


I know I am not perfect, I made mistakes but how does it work that I get treated like sh*t for years by this man and he is the one who gets happy ever after and I get nothing. I get left by the man I love more than anything (my best friend not this guy) and the guy who told me I was a worthless lazy bitch daily because I was tired after work gets a fiance. I cant pay my bills on time and the guy who sat on the couch for a year after he quit his job watching Maury calling me at work to accuse me of cheating has money to get a new car and buy a house.


What happened to Karma, what happened to getting what you give. I have gave everything and I have gotten hurt over and over and over. I am about done trying, I dont see the point anymore






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Jun 28 2012, 11:23 pm
Do you mind if I leave you another comment!,

You are being brought to God, I think. Now you see what this world is really like. Any investment in it is destruction of self.

I must learn never to give what is valuable to pigs and swine, lest they trample what is valuable under there feet, and turn and tear me to pieces. I must not give them my soul. I must guard it.

I must not give what is holy to the dogs..

The world is not a nice place for a nice person. It destroys good people. The bad people love it. They thrive in. Yet, they are slaves. They cannot see the light.. Only the decent can see the light.

I must pull back from the temptation for attention. My feet must not go towards evil people. I fist endure them, then pity them, then embrace them. At that moment, without recall, they destroy me. They have no soul..

I am from God, I must talk to the creator and leave this world be.

There are many ways to work on resentments. I have had success doing so.

If these comments I am leaving or not OK, or are to frequent. Please let me know...

keep writing and letting the pain out..

omnicell