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i am so so sad
im am so so sad i was trying so hard not to go on about it but now im so so sad ive ben sitting at my desk dong nothing for an hour and a half cos i didnt want to do anything cos im so sad, i have to do yet another assessment tomorrow and im sos scared today i borke down crying again inf ront of my supervisor and the other supervisor it was so embarrassingand afterwards i just had to pretend nothing was wrong and just go aorudn doing things and i swear my supervisor gave rly a rly mean/unfriendly look like she hated me and i think tis cos i was mad at her after we met up in the morning after i cried and hated her etc etc. but i m not sure it was that obvious thati didnt llike her and shes not the sort ot notice too muchand befoer i would hav just said i was reading too much into things but thats waht i did bfefoere when she looked upset but i brushed it off and it turned out she was upset bout soemthign i did but dindt say and i didnt know so she used those against me after, so now im convinved that she hates me but doesnt want to show it obviously cos when were technically on thewards she doesnt seem hateful but today when i turned arougn to ask her a question in our office she turned aorund at the exact same time and the look on her face wasnt friendly at all it was rlhy mean like she hated me for soemthing that i didnt know and i was so scared and surprised and i jst stared at her and she just looked at me a bit mroe without flinching or looking away cos isnt that what pppl do when ye accidently looka t eac hother at ht e same time? but no she just turned around gave me a 'mean' look ( i know) and then turned back to her desk and it was only after i kept staring at her cos i was so shocked that she asked me if i was ok as in did i have any questions, and when i asked her my questions the look on her face dissapeared mostly.... its so weird, and i feel s o scared that hse hates me secretely :( i know that sounds paranoind but before when i ignored when she looked angyr or upset i was wrong and now im pretty sure im right here too.... im so so scared what will i do she is my supervisor and if i say it to anyone else itll just ousnd weird. als oi have to do aseessments with ehr on patients tomorrow and im nervous alreayd so doing them while thinking she hates me but doesnt want to show ti wiill make itso so muc hworse i feel like i cant do it i dont want to go in tomorrow this is even worse than alst week when i first satartre the asseesments, i feel like i cant and never will be able to d othe assessmetns independelty its os embarrassing and im alreayd behind in it :((( what wil i do!!!!
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