Feeling Hopeless

By: virginiarose
Mood: Fearful
Date: Oct 22, 2009
Music: None

Don't remember if I posted this here or not but I lost my job 2-1/2 weeks ago.  My parents have been very generous with $$ to help me pay bills this month.  But my job hunting has been more or less futile and I'm getting really scared about surviving this.

I lost my health insurance when i lost my job, and I have 2 antidepressants left and a few Ambien and Ativan.  I don't know what I'm going to do when it runs out.  now is the LAST time I need to be out of these meds.  I have been dealing with major clinical depression on top of the general anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, and some agoraphobia.  i don't know when I'll have health insurance again.  The only job leads i really have at this point are a few companies bidding on proposal work that wouldn't even start till January.  And if they don't win the contract there's no job.

I'm barely in shape to interview but I have to.  The longer this goes on the more scared I get and the more panic attacks I have (like the one I'm having right now!)).

I know many of you have probably been in the same situation.  How do you cope?

I'm missing my Dad's 80th birthday celebration (in anoter state) this weekend becauseI can't afford to stop my job hunting long enugh to go. 

If it weren't for my 2 cats (who have become extra cuddly lately--they know), I probably wouldn't be here right now.