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false rejection

BARBY
By: BARBY
Mood: Frustrated
Date: Jan 14, 2012
Music: None


I constantly feel rejected. Unloved, ignored. Not important and just not enough of anything. I find myself hurt and angry because there is no room for me on the couch. My boyfriend is being smothered by his cuddly 13 year old daughter, mine is on the couch too. I finally find the courage to ask them to scooch down and make some room for me, hoping to get some cuddles myself after a long boring cuddless day. And i get nothing. He's unresponsive once again. Story of my life. Ridiculous situations that set me off like a 5 year old. Why why why


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VIEWING 1 - 4 OUT OF 4 COMMENTS

From: coolbeans
Jan 15 2012, 12:25 pm
Boy Barby, can I relate. Having two people in a relationship with mental health issues is a blessing and a curse. My husband has dysthymia (chronic depression) as well as some physical health issues right now and chronic low self-esteem. I have major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder etc. At one time, we can relate to each other sometimes in a way I think someone without mental health issues might not be able to, but at the same time....if I am feeling depressed or anxious sometimes he thinks it's his fault even if it isn't and then he feels guilty and gets depressed and then I feel bad for even mentioning it and I feel guilty and depressed and it is just this crazy cycle. It's frustrating because sometimes I feel like I can't tell him how I feel for worry that I will make him slip into a depression cycle. It sucks, even though we love each other very much and are very supportive of each other. But, you can make it work, it just takes a lot of hard work. Hang in there :)

coolbeans


From: coolbeans
Jan 14 2012, 9:57 pm
Does he know that you feel this way? Maybe you should talk to him about how bad your anxiety is and how it helps to have support and cuddles from him. Sometimes men are clueless and maybe he just doesn't realize how bad it is?

Are you doing CBT with your psychologist? That and breathing exercises and getting physical exercise is what I would recommend. I hope your situation gets better. Take care of yourself.

coolbeans


From: BARBY
Jan 14 2012, 7:50 pm
I see a psychologist once a week. Thanks for writing back. I wish my boyfriend worried about me. He barely asks me how I'm Doing, doesn't realize how him cuddling makes me feel better, so he hardly does it . I'm facing a whole lot of stuff I'm not accustomed to. It's really hard and painfull. I know where my anxiety and low self esteem issues stem from, but i don't know what to do with it or how to control.my thoughts. What about you, what do u do, why are u anxious ?

BARBY


From: esdnmw
Jan 14 2012, 7:40 pm
Im sorry to hear that! Have you thought of going to a therapist? I sometimes feel that way to but, then as soon as I let my guard down I usually get hurt. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but, I dont know what to say. I can say I know how that feels and you are not alone. Right now my finace' is at a game with his friends and he keeps texting me r u ok ? cause he nows how bad my attacks are I want to say no come home but, he deserves a life too. Sometimes it is the way we are brought up, sometimes it is other issues that makes us feel that way. All I can say is hold on and on tuesday (monday is a holiday) if you have insurance try to find a therapist someone who can help you through the feels you are having, just remember you are not alone!

esdnmw