Too Pretty? comments,Anxiety Support Group Member

CATEGORIES:

Too Pretty?

By:	spirit88
Mood:	Anxious
Date:	Jan 19, 2013
Music:	Loreena Mckennitt--Mummer's Dance

I'm going to talk about a forbidden subject...well forbidden in my world anyway. At my age, it's rare and definitely weird to admit that I've never been on a date, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. The discouraging thing is people have been telling me how beautiful I am my entire life--I know I'm an attractive woman. I'm not arrogant or showy. I know that God gave me certain facial and physical features that made me attractive to the human race. Of course, I believe that every human being is beautiful and as humans we're too limited with our minds to see that. Naturally, not too many people share this point of view---

I'm rambling and getting off subject.

Anyway, I know men find me attractive. I have a good personality, smart, decent, outgoing. So the thing I don't get is what about me don't menlike? I'm good enough to gawk at, but not good enough to date? Even looking for friends I find that other women just don't want to give me the time of day.

Now as a child and teenager I was told I was weird a few times--but in a positive way. Yes, I'm creative. Yes, I tend to be very random. But does that make me difficult to be around? I'd really like to know how the rest of the human population feels and communicates. What is it that they all share that they can just group together and have friends? What is it that they all share that they can all find a "special someone" to be with?

Like I said, I'm beautiful, but I've never been perfect. So it's not like I stand out that much from other people. I had severe acne my whole life so my skin is a little scarred, but nothing dramatic.

Bottom line, tomorrow I'm visiting my Uncle's church and I'm worriedabout potential "new people" that I'm going to be introduced to. I'm worried that I'm going to leave whatever impression on them that I apparently leave on the rest of the human population. *Sigh*

Maybe I am too weird.

MEMBER COMMENTS

[ Login to post a comment ]

VIEWING 1 - 8 OUT OF 8 COMMENTS

From: spirit88
Jan 20 2013, 6:05 pm Thanks you guys :)

From: sarah30uk
Jan 20 2013, 10:35 am I can relate, I'm 30 and people think I'm strange because I'm not in a relationship and I don't want kids. Honestly yes I wish I could connect with someone and have a relationship but even if someone does show interest in me then I tend to run like hell because I'm screwed up and although I would love someone to hold at night and wake up with in the morning i just feel like I'm not worth loving. I'm sure you will find someone if that's what you want, you just need to keep looking, if you are pretty then you probably intimidate people so you might need to make the first move!

From: overthinker101
Jan 20 2013, 4:07 am You're 24years old. Thats still quite young. But i completely understand what you mean. Just keep praying and asking God to not only send you someone but someone who you will recognize that He sent you.... Are you making yourself available to be dated?? Sometimes we make ourselves seem unavailable through our behaviour unknowingly and as such guys who would like us don't. As for female friends, Have you tried church groups or joining a youth/volunteer group? If you're still in school you could try joining groups there. Its easier to make friends in a group.

From: FLORIDA
Jan 19 2013, 10:23 pm Interesting blog. You would be supprised at how many people are in the same situation that you are. Remember that in society they highlight certain things. If you are not the partying type you are not potrayed on TV and movies. If they do put a character who is a virgin on tv they are either ridicule and fixed by the end of the show or they are sacrificed to the gods LOL. So you see if people are inexperienced in dating they don't go public for fear of ridicule and teasing. I am willing to bet that most men see you and assume that you are all ready taken or gay. Remember that since people like us have anxiety we don't put our self out there so if people spread rumors about us we are not around to defend our self. So basically what i am saying is your situation is very common on this site. You're a nice girl...no one simply knows who you are....yet. Your time will come soon.

From: rina09
Jan 19 2013, 8:41 pm harveypdowd - i think the most important thing that is attractive is to be confident and comfortable with urself and not worry so much about what others think. if you worry about it too much u might give a wrong impression. in my past relationship i tried to be something that i was not and now i am realizing that it is important to be urself be comfortable and true and if the other person does not like u then he or she is not for u. i also feel like my anxiety is the biggest issue as far as relationships go i feel like it is limiting me in going out and getting out there. and i do believe men should take a first step in approaching women :) but thats just what i think

From: harveypdowd
Jan 19 2013, 8:36 pm For me I often wondered what was it about me that women just didn't like. then again I never really put myself out there that much. A few times I tried but I've always felt on the outside looking in. Now, maybe as a guy I'm supposed to take the lead I don't know. Maybe if you take the lead you can meet that special someone. I know that isn't easy believe me. I've often thought it must be an impression I'm giving to people. I can remember being asked by people if I was mad or upset when i was fine. It was apparently something wrong with my face. You never know. Sometimes I think two people may see each other, be attracted but nobody takes the lead and they go their separate ways. I hope the church event goes well.

From: rina09
Jan 19 2013, 8:35 pm u r still very young and will have all that in the future - bf, dating, kissing. i am such a believer that things happen for a reason and there is a person in this world for everyone :) stay positive and good luck tomorrow - just be yourself

From: TammyD1972
Jan 19 2013, 8:16 pm I hope you have a great experience tomorrow and God gives you someone nice and open to talk to and be yourself around!!

Anxiety Self Help