It's 4am. I don't know why I'm still up.
At first I thought I might wait for my sister to come home, but I know she will be out late drinking tonight.
I'm feeling like hell.
Made a psychologist appointment today, but I don't expect much from it. I am quickly losing the motivation to do anything with myself.
I got the job at the retail store. . . and I didn't show up or call . . . haven't been to school in 2 weeks. I have class tomorrow, don't know if I'm going.
Contacted my ex via myspace last night. Oh yeah, I went out and got fairly drunk. It was ok, but I prefer being by myself. . . when I'm in a bar, I get wandering eyes, and usually I find there is no one very attractive in those places anyway.
Well, he wrote me back "why now" was his reply.
I just said "I don't know"
And I've been agonizing over his reply, anyones reply, a guy, a drink, something to lose myself in.
I want to leave, I want to move back in with my parents, but I feel they want me to try up here. Hahahaha
They can keep paying my rent or take me back and let me stagnate on their couch. I can't do it anymore. If I had any spine I'd kill myself.