The price of manhood
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By:
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omnicell
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Mood:
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Other
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Date:
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Jan 19, 2013
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Music:
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None
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OK. So Im going to talk about manhood, and how hard it is to be a man and not a crumbling frightened unlit candle stick.
One thing Im learning about women, They can turn you into a man better then a drill sergeant...
You must get inline.
Im learning about women: You either sweep them off there feet or you don't,
its about action and nothing more then that. Its about showing action. One must show!...
Dissociative disorder destroys 2 key areas of life; work, and relationships.
Women do not care why your manhood is destroyed. You must work at something, some plan to show them your manhood.
It takes years of work. I know, Ive been working at it for awhile now. Not everyone appreciates the work or sees the handicap. For these people that appreciate nothing, I have to let them go..
Not everyone has to fallow the rules; living according to what God wants from them. They do not care about human things and never will.
I have finally learned from God, its OK to move on now,
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Im learning that Im mad at myself. The 12 step system teaches, that if one is mad, it is at themselves and no one else. For example, if I have the pain right now, I have the problem... So what is my problem.
I have been reviewing past romantic interests trying to understand what is going on and what is wrong. Im finding horrifying information presenting a case against myself. In my defense I wanted to show how others have victimized me. However, after looking at the evidence, it appears that I victimized them more then they would have me!, Now Im trying to understand how they lasted so long around me with the continual rejection.
THis does not set the others free. They are guilty for other things as well. I was not treated well by them, in the courting system. I was quickly thrown away and replaced... did I really want to date people that would throw me away in such a manner. I don't think so.
I am concerned!
PTSD is the big problem, and "O" my", what a problem it is. Talk about baggage. You have no idea until you are 100 PTSD based!...
Im realizing, I have told everything I can about my different view points of these girls. Ive told everyone for months, except the girls.. Im realizing, that I got close to one of them, then pulled away, and never came back. They know nothing of all the things Ive written on my blogs.... Thats amazing. Hopefully in the future, I can tell them how I feel, and not electronic paper. How dysfunctional, how interesting... How complete dissociative.
I would like to say that the people ive mentioned treated me like an opportunity at the last moment. They through me away when there were problems... That is why Im so sad and freaked out...
In the future, I need to be around people with human character...
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