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Self Destruction
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By:
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Halogen25
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Mood:
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Content
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Date:
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Jan 10, 2011
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Music:
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None
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I just read Jacks blog and It brought something back that I have put away along time ago. So I wanted to talk about it today. Alot of times when we feel overwhelmed on the inside we try to bring that feeling outside so it can be seen and felt on a physical level. Humans understand things better this way. Which is why early trials of treatment for disorders was shock treatment, cold water submersion, ...ect. Drs beleived that you could treat internal matters by causing an external matter. There is something to this study because shock treatment for depression does infact work. No one can tell you how it does work but it actually has had success. Which is why some of us naturally feel the need to harm ourselves in a none threatening way. I used to be what people call a cutter. I have about 30 deep razor blade scars on my chest. I haven't done this to myself for about 10 years now but the scars are raised and discolored like it just happend a few weeks ago. I feel ashamed when I have to take off my shirt. I really wanted to post a picture as Jack did to show him that he is not alone but I find the apearance to be repulsive. I deeply regret what I did to myself. This form of self distruction is not uncommon, many people do it in one form or another. We put ourselves through tremendous amouts of stress, act as if we have a death wish, over eat, drink or do exessive amouts of drugs, ....ect. The point of this blog is, if you have any behaviors that you see are self distructive you need to see someone. I have alot of answers for alot of things but this is something I couldn't offer advice for. I just want you to know that these thoughts escalate. Maybe the first time you do it its for a shock value or release, the second time could be because you are angry and overwhelmed, no matter what it will become a part of who you are and in the end small cuts don't do it anymore. I don't want to go into that here but I will tell you the first time I cut I never in a million years thought it would escalate into what it did. So stop self distructing anyway you can. If you have any behaviors that you see as unhealthy, seek help. It may seem like nothing now but in the end you can easily lose all control then its too late. Sorry to be a downer today but this topic strikes me in a sensitive place.
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