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On the bottom , on the floor
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By:
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Ortal
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Mood:
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Tired
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Date:
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Feb 18, 2013
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Music:
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None
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Hello friends! I wanna Shere with you my thoughts from this last few days . All tho none of them are new . I just moved to Las Vegas 4 months ago , and in 3 more days I'm moving to a different state as well . This will be my 5 state in the last 1 year and a half. I can't find a job cus I always feel afraid to be outdoor. My family support me ,and I feel very sorry for that. But everyone trying to help me stand on both feet. I feel very stress about moving out again . And have to work and deal with the real world. I even tought to go back to my country but I'm affried of that too. I find myself planing more then ever my Suicide attempt. I'm trying to tell my self over and over again , I'm stronger then that. I can deal with all that. But I feel it would be the right choice this time. I really feel I can't offer anything to the world in this point. My family can be only worried about me , never make them proud I think. I had 1Suicide attempt in the past . 6 years ago. I will never forget my mom face . When I just woke up she stand there with tears , watching me. This totally brake my heart !! In our family we lost one child (sister ) so that's why I feel so bad for my family . But I really am trying to keep up with life . It's just too much for ME!!
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