Night blog 1
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By:
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omnicell
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Mood:
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Content
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Date:
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May 28, 2012
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Music:
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No
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Not bad! The PTSD was ripped open. PTSD is like falling asleep when your suntanning. You wake up 2 days later with 2nd degree burns. Just because you leave the sun and go inside doesn't mean it stops burning.. It keeps burning for the next week, burns down into the soul.
PTSD is the burning of the nervous system... Over exposure to an uncertain environment. An environment of implied violence and terror and control. Sounds like America to me!.
The monkeys in the cage bugged me a bit, not to bad. Im always shocked how they come into my space and violate me. I cant turn my back on anyone anymore. Nothing is sacred, nothing is safe. NOTHING!!!!!!
Im OK, my nervous system is scorched. Ive been taking clay with me to meetings and Ive been practicing none dissociation., Its very hard. I freak myself out by not hiding.
Ive got poetry to write. Im writing lyrics to songs; I have to practice that I can learn to say what I really feel in a few sentences. Its really hard to say everything descriptively in a few words. I will learn!!
I would like to write 2 blogs a day, one in the morning, one at night.. Spill my guts at night, let my feelings out in the morning.. Bling.
As for anxiety attacks for the day; Lets see:
about 7
One brutal PTSD breakdown in the park....
OTher then that its has been a great wonderful fantastic brilliant day
Over N out
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