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Im getting a bit stronger

omnicell
By: omnicell
Mood: Other
Date: Jan 30, 2014
Music: None


Im getting a bit stronger; sanity is returning to me! Its just starting! I mean, Just starting! like a swimmer that has just touched the water... Its short and to the point; but its starting...

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I am looking for more strength. My first interest is to let go of the wrong people that I have had to depend on when so mentally ill. Those people helped me when ill. They do notknow that I have changed; and they could not. They are not thinking of me; they are helping me! And at some-point I do not want their help anymore! Nor will I need it! They are helpers; they are good, not so bad! but bland grey disorders. They do there jobs! They are helpers.

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The original me was independent; that was 40 years ago! and that person 40 years ago is wakening! I am awakening with original intent and memory systems intact, much like an ancient space ship found to still be working when boarded again into the future.

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Im moving into a newer level of submergence light. A shallower sub tranceexperience moving onward or upward. I am in a moving submarine! that is slowly going strait up like an errowfromthe depth of the sea.

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I have been given the knowledge to find the places that could substitute as community life family; including this place, and it has worked andis working! And at some-point I will dust myself off and begin again! I am not happy! No one is happy about the world, when they have seen what I have seen. I am speaking world presence.

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I have been the poor and the raped, and the destroyed. I have been the throw away and the mangled.

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I have seen who the real murderers are! and they are us and they are everywhere!

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and the real horror shows are not the spook videos of demonology and si fi on the youtube channels, or some Steven King novel. The real horror is lived out by the poor who areawake and asleep at the same time. Murdered and walking dead; walking around for days until there light is snuffed out through torture and insignificance.

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I have been many things; I have been the real poor that never comes back, and I have lived to tell about it! It is beyond the nightmare! it is the truest sadness of man kind; for all atrocities are allowed from society to be unleashed upon the poor! They are nomore! they are the throw away identities; the sacrifices of Western societies; the great murderer. And they cry out, but no one ever hears them; I know, I was one of them! They succumbto death in silence and quit darkness.

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They are children turned to skeletons! For them, life is a prison of death!

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My only crime; I would be myself and bend for no one! and I was destroyed before I could lift a thought! and I never regained consciousness. I was trampled and ripped apart by the eyes of the vicious beholder! those that worship the system and destroyed the innocent!

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Why bitch about it; nothing is new! Its the same old.........

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As I slowly get better, I have no idea who I am, orof my future; For no one can think this far. My reference is from so many different blood death pools. I have seen so much emerging strife and innocence. My reference points are unimaginable! Who knows what direction this will send me. I am a different creature then before! I rule God, and God rules me! And when God gets tired of me play acting God, he puts me in my place and I start again! A child is a child!

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I only hope I can come back!