ITs all PTSD/anxiety
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By:
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omnicell
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Mood:
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Other
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Date:
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Jan 31, 2013
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Music:
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None
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Anytime I start blaming anyone, I know what that means!, The PTSD stress is creating a negative of the world. a negative hostile world.
Its horrible. Its your fault , simply because my view has changed to victim, because the movie running through my head is of a time of being victimized. I cant see anything else.
I am starting to get it. It all sucks. Im so controlled by what is going on in my head and nervous system. I see much more inside my mind then outside myself when dealing with an opportunity.
I have to tell people about me if they are going to get it. I cant tell them when its to late..
I have to be on my knees to God all the time, Giving things to God, having a relationship with God. That is what counts... ITs God first, this may be all the lesson I need to learn... The world is a traitorous place.. I have to have God and trust and let go.... This is the hardest lesson. I dying without it...
Its a scary venture to come out of denial. ITs very difficult. Its difficult to look clearly in ones direction and realize I see more PTSD stuff then the reality that Im starring at..
I am slowly getting stronger...
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