|
How much long must we endure
|
|
|
By:
|
lostsmiles
|
|
Mood:
|
Fearful
|
|
Date:
|
Mar 10, 2010
|
|
Music:
|
None
|
|
|
aren't you tired of going through the repetious stages of life always knowing how the day starts and how it ends? you get up in the morning, do sometype of dubious activity such as work, sitting around the house, spending time with friends, or something just to get you in through the day, then you go to bed, but sometimes those same activities get REDUNDANT. I am tired of waking up feeling anxious and depressed ALL THE TIME. I am tired of being rejected, i am tired of being told everything will be alright when it doesn't. I am tired of bad things always happening to me, for once can something that i want to happen good to me actually turns out to be good. is that too much to ask for. I have lost some many good and precious things in my short 32 years here and half of those years have been living in fear because i am depressed. I am finacially strapped, i don't think i will be able to pay my mortgage on time this month, its like robbing Peter to pay Paul type of situation. I can go on and on living a lie to myself. do you know people have always called me crazy, and i don't mean in a good way i mean CRAZY.,maybe i am, but it still hurts to hear it when its family and friends you grew up with. I have been labeled all my life. I pretended to be happy most of my life..sometimes i wish i was dead, i am not suicidal but i think about it..but would people actually miss me if i was gone..Is there an end to this, what if i get back on meds and therapy and it doesn't work. It didn't before...i just wish the answer was clear. because i am tired of living a blurry mess
|
|
