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Evil that Lurks
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By:
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GodIsLove
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Mood:
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Frustrated
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Date:
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Apr 15, 2010
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Music:
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None
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I have had a couple of weeks already with a constant awareness that my panic attack/depression is not far off. Like a pit in my stomach just waiting to set it into motion. I gets hard to concentrate at work.
I have been putting together in my mind some of the defense strategies that I come to learn over the years. - I have been at this for 27 years. Despite getting beat down to the ground by this more times than I can count, I remain relatively optimistic and I want to tell you why.
I have depression and anxiety so I am talking about both. What has helped me out tremendously is "How" I think about my condition. I separated it from myself. - This Problem I have is NOT me. I have turned them out - They are no longer me - But something that is attacking me, hunting me, stalking me. - When I think of who I am - I think of some of my happiest times in my life. I keep them in my mind and this is the person who I am. - And that Happy person is being attacked by something external.
You see - If you do this - Then you will stop blaming yourself - You will stop beating yourself up, You will stop attacking yourself. All these things are fuel for the monster that stalks us. STOP FEEDING IT!!!
I know this is hard to do - It is going to be very hard at first, and you are going to tell yourself that it is silly, There is going to be a strong urge to return to self remorse.
As I guess most of you can tell from my screen name, I have a very strong belief and Faith in Jesus. But I started doing this before I found God. But what is amazing is that God showed me what this monster really is. You may not believe in Evil and the Devil - But I sure do.
Realize that there is a good person and a good heart in there trying to win this fight. Give yourself ever bit of GOOD ammunition to fight it. Tell yourself in your mind that you are going to win - You are not going to let the Depr./Anxiety beat you. Think of the good things in your life, The blessing, the fact that we have a Loving God who forgives our sins if we will let Him. Think of these things and keep them in your mind. Hold onto them when it get hard.
I did not give up, I did not let this monster claim me. There is a beautiful light at the end of this tunnel. FIGHT!!! Pray to God. Feed yourself that which is good - Dispel anything that is hurtful to you.
I hope this helps someone, if just one it would be worth it.
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