Early NB: Not Giving up: remembering
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By:
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omnicell
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Mood:
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Other
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Date:
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Dec 12, 2012
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Music:
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None
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Im hitting it early today, because I came up with a great idea..
What do I concentrate on; the failures, or the tools for successful connection!
Im looking at failure as; more social practice needed. I cant loose.
I will set off learning what I need to learn. How to interact. Im so close. What Im having to remember in these early stages: Ive been written off. Its to late as for the past girls of interest. I train-wrecked to many times on there oceans.
Now I learn how to approach people in the various ways possible. I will study more on this and practice.
At some-point, the goal is to express what I need to express in the moment. No good going back to old flames that have been put out. And, I don't need to concentrate on that.
It is very hard indeed, when the last girl really connected with me. These are not so easy to find. It makes things heart breaking...
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The basic tools have to be in place. I must keep practicing... I must learn to trust God and let go of the people that I will never have a relationship with; Its never going to happen. They made there choice. And there choice, I believe was influenced by my lack of knowledge on how to procure a relationship with someone.
I will have to analyze and work on what needs to be build up.
Im deathly afraid of ending up with the wrong people, this is another subject!
sometimes I feel so mental that I wonder how anyone could or would like me.
my mental condition is not for everyone. I feel that others are less tolerant then people on this site. I am shunned and thrown away by some who do not understand or want to understand my situation. Its a bit of a stigma Im afraid. Im afraid that the presentation required for interest of the opposite sex is not a true picture of who I am. I feel disastrous results prevail when I am found-out of who and what I really am.
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Im beginning to remember: all I had to do was take her out for dinner at a nice place because she was worth it... This is why I got no response from her with the phone number stuff.
The problem is: Im working out my therapy on real people. They have no idea what is going on. Its half pathological in away, on my side of things. Im using them as test clones to practice. Im so caught up in pushing things, I forget how my interests are effecting the other person... However, its all helping me to remember, helping me to wake up.
ITs about waking up and remembering. I hope I don't destroy to many more potential relationships for the sake of memories.. O well, if I have to , I have to.
I dont see away of fixing this last situation. That is over and done...
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Other young women at my meeting say hello and bug me. They are the children of some of the participants..
Any time, anyone of these girls, I could learn to face and talk to. Usually I have my back turned to them or make a quick remark and walk away. However, lots of practice with these girls, and others I can practice with.
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