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I really hate the Holidays
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By:
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spinal97
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Mood:
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Tired
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Date:
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Nov 21, 2008
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Music:
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None
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I used to love them when I was a kid. I couldn't wait for Halloween, all the candy we used to get. I'd go over to my best friends house and we'd go around his neighborhood trick or treating. Thanksgiving would come around and we'd head over to my grandma's in Connecticut. We'd spend the weekend there and have a great time. Christmas would come around and it was a heavenly time of year for me, not just because of the toys but the snow, the lights, the hot chocolate, snowdays, the christmas tree, the smells, the songs, everything was great! Now it's just....I don't know. Nothing has that flare anymore. Now I'm too nervous to go to the door to answer when the trick or treaters ring the doorbell and all I do is just gorge on the candy to get rid of the anxiety. I'm also too nervous to go to any parties, not that I' ever invited to any. Thanksgiving is probably the only holiday that has changed the least for me, but I still feel lousy. I'm 25 years old, I still live at home and have only a handful of friends. Now I love my family, well my dad and my brother anyway, but I would like to get out on my own, and the last thing I want is to spend time with yet more family members. Everyone comes with their families. I get a bit envious and I can't help but think how far behind I am and how unimportant I am. I hate to say it, but I truly hate the Christmas season now. I wish I could go back to loving it, it such a beautiful holiday. But my mom, people having a good time with their loved ones, the commercialism, the snow shoveling. They all ruin it for me. My mom turns everything into a chore and all she does is complain when something isn't right or I didn't buy a card for this person or I didn't buy a present for that person. I swear, I never want to celebrate christmas again after I leave because of her. The commercials, ugh. They start right after halloween and are just non-stop till the day after Dec. 25. Couples making out after the guy gives his girlfriend/wife some jewelry, families enjoying themselves, people relaxing and having a good time. I hate it all. My anxiety and depression just sky rocket during the holiday season, and to top it all off. NEW YEARS! Oh Wonderful. Couple's making out at midnight so happy to be starting another year together. And me...at home....with the folks....watching it on TV. What a way to end the year. Not with a cheer, but with a heavy sigh. I don't even watch it anymore. Sorry, I had to get this off my chest. Maybe someday I'll get back into it, but right now, I just wish I could skip ahead to January.
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