Its funny, but not really haha kinda funny, but I spent 6 months going back and forward as to whether or not I was suffering from anxiety, which is funny cause in essence I was worrying about whether or not I ‘had’ anxiety, which by that statement itself suggested that is indeed one of my problems. Like and I went over and over what else it could be like if there could be something really wrong with me then I added in the alcohol, and psychologist said that it was a symptom, and I went round and round, over and over. Like I said im at a point now where I accept it, and a self awareness to realise what was going on and what was happening and what does happen, and all that leaves me with is where the hell do I go from here, cause I know now that feeling, and its got a name, the thing I thought I was ignoring for so long, the thing I pushed to the back of my mind only to have it come screaming out, is the thing that only now with perspective and ability to clearly look back, with a very annoying self awareness I might add, that I was able to ‘see’ the anxiety. Now the fun part to somehow ignore it now I know what it is. Like I keep saying its like someone pointing a gun to your head and telling you to ignore it.

Is there anything that you had wished that you had said or is it all just bouncing like a bubble in your head!!! That’s how I describe anxiety as bubbles bouncing in your head, the more and more anxious you get the more bubbles appear, the more it fills until it no longer has anywhere to go but to start and spill out the sides, the physical symptoms. Just thought I would share that. I like to ramble, but its better now im realising to ramble onto paper then continue to ramble in my head.