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Jun 02 2011, 1:25 pm / Other
being self conscience is one the most painless but yet painful things that i think i've ever felt. as of late, it's like i literallycan't look anyone in the face when i speak to them because something in my mind is telling me, "nick, this person thinks you're ugly. he/she thinks you are awkward. they hate the way you talk. just walk away." when i talk to them, i get so worried about embarassing myself that i sometimes am at a loss for words and struggle to keep the conversation going. because of this, i feel like people are staring at me and are judging me. needless to say it doesn't hurt physically but mentally it takes it's toll. there have been several times i have been like "screw it. i am what i am. if i am ugly, then so be it." the truth of the matter is, i've learned that people think just the opposite of what you're thinking, but when you've suffered bullying in jr. high and high school like i did, its hard to break out of that line of thinking that no one loves you and that you're a reject. despite all this i still keep my head up and fight cause if you don't love yourself, then who will. anyone got any tips on how to break out this mind set?
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