Beanman80   
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Dec 17 2006, 7:15 pm / Don't know

Well I finally got some help again and stopped my  drug abuse...I had to fight the hardest person in the world to try and get help; myself...I'm back with my old NA group and they have helped through the withdrawal process and thank god for my family.....I felt at first like the biggest disgrace because my mother and father grew up around this type of behavior and the last persons I wanted to know I was using again was my mom and dad....they both grew up in sh*tty households..and somehow I sometimes feel like I let them down. I feel like they did the best they could for me but they ask themselves how could we let this happpen to our son but it is not them at all only myself. My mom and Dad had a long talk with me and I feel alot better now since I have become open with them again.....I have had alot of sh*t hit the fan all at  once and resorted to what I thought was my only friend but I know it could or would not help me just help to keep it masked until I was either dead or might as well be dead..I'm not gonna end up like alot of friends and family members that I know ....I'm gonna stay clean and this is finally for good..I'm sick of it all and I have to change....