Anxiety
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Sep 03 2008, 10:16 pm / Other
Right so, have decided to revert back to my light hearted profound self. Well im going to force myself anyway. So a few topics in my mind lately are self preservation and self destruction. Although I suspect they are one and the same. You sub consciously see something heading a direction that terrifies you, either because it makes you uncomfortable or because you sense it will hurt you, could be intimacy or some type of relationship thing. So you begin arming your defence mechanisms, ATTENTION ON DECK!!! QUICK GET BACK TO THE BASES AND START SENDING OFF WARNING SHOTS…. LET THEM KNOW WE ARE READY!!!! Wikipedia defines it as - Self preservation is part of an animal's instinct that demands that the organism survives. Pain and fear are parts of this mechanism. Pain causes discomfort so that the organism is inclined to stop the pain. Fear causes the organism to seek safety and may cause a release of adrenaline which has the effect of increased strength and heightened senses such as hearing, smell, and sight. So essentially anxiety is a manifestation of this… we fear something so to protect ourselves our minds put up barriers… some of which may not be needed, but we some where along the lines felt that mechanism needed, and our future response has become the same, in some cases we put the walls up early, or sometimes we leave the walls there. We have our battle lines drawn and we are ready for war…. Even though that war has become ourselves? We take it out on people in our lives who may not understand our need for those walls or may not even realise why we have them up, but like it or not they are there. The thing is why do people want to break down our walls, do they not realise if you try to break us down all we are going to do is come out swinging? And they may be hard to break down, we all have them in place for a reason. We don’t want to get hurt again. Which is now where I think itll lead into self destruction. We sit behind our walls preparing and preparing and going over all possibilities and outcomes, that we in a sense start to self destruct. From cabin fever, of being stuck as prisoners of war. We are all in a sense POWs of our minds. How do we choose when to let those walls down, or maybe something to start with is to at least give it an access point, where some people can get in and we can pop out for a little while, but somewhere we know safety is still found. Maybe we never have to fully drop our guard. Our guard is there for a reason is it not, it is the instinct of every creature on this planet. Survive. Battle lines are drawn….the game is on…. Who will win???? Our selves or the game? Can we ever just get along with the game of life, can we beat it? The house always wins!! Not a clue what im on about, pretty sure I had a point there somewhere….. Not a clue what it was but it got my mind off my troubles for a little while… although am now slightly concerned of straight jackets….and have just found some thoroughly interesting reading, when I searched self destruction.
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