Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Aug 06 2011, 10:31 pm / MOOD: Tired

So its my 11th day on medication. I had some side effects the first week. Mostly light headedness, yawning frequently, and I was pretty spacey the first few hours after I took my meds every day. Im happy to say that it has taken effect and im feeling better! Ive never even considered medication for my SAD in the past. I am talking and connecting with people that i have worked with for years but never could hold a convo with before. Its amazing to me! I have lived as an only child with my single father for a combined total of 5 years and barely spoke to the man other than fits of emotional distress. Over the past week we have chatted each other up for up to couple hours at a time. We have even laughed together. I never imagined i could live out these situations. Im hoping that i continue to feel better like this. but i have noticed that its beginning to wear off in the evening around bed time. My mind startes racing with anxious thoughts like before and i have trouble relaxing. Im just going to continue to take it and monitering how i feel untill i visit my dr again in a couple weeks. Thanks again everyone that gave advice and support!

xoxo

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DATE: Jul 26 2011, 7:01 pm / MOOD: Curious

Hey everyone! So I actually went to my Dr appointment yesterday. Things went well. I had some anxiety in the waiting room but I was okay. it wasnt untill they called me back that my heart started racing, hands trembling, voice shaking. When my Dr came in and I started explaining my condition, I teared up a little but didn't completely lose it. He handed me a tissue and started explaining to me that he has had a lot of success in treating his female patients who have anxiety with Celexa. He prescribed me with 20mg and told me that I wouldn't feel like it is working for a week. I took my first dose this morning. So far my only side effects are dialated pupils, light-headedness, yawning, and i was feeling a good bit spacey the first few hours after taking it. From all that I have read online most people experiance side effects most intensly after they take their second dose and experiance those side effects for up to a couple weeks. I have read a lot of testimonials that say they just suddenly feel much better(regarding their anxiety) one day and those side effects pass. I was wondering if anyone else has any experiance taking celexa and might have any advice for me?

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DATE: Jul 20 2011, 11:32 pm / MOOD: Happy

So its official, i have been in school for 2 years now. I have changed majors 50 times, skipped a bunch of classes, made some terrible grades, dropped a ton of classes, and endured some really anxious moments. After a whole lot of research, dreaming, and planning; I am very proud to say that I have made the final decision to become a medical transcriptionist! I am finally interested and motivated and so very excited! I even overloaded myself a little more than usual with classes this semester bc im so eager to take the courses. Goodbye searving up sandwiches at the deli, hello medical terminology school books! haha anyway, I just got done spending over 2 hours planning everything out for school this fall. Just had to share the excitement, yay!

-stormy

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DATE: Jul 18 2011, 3:09 pm / MOOD: Fearful

Im planning on making an dr appointment for next monday to finally be screened for SAD. I am fairly posative that i have suffered untreated since early childhood. I am terrified of dr's, hospitals, and needles. i am so fearful that he will have to do a blood test or something. i am very avoiding of dr visits bc of the fear that i will have to have some type of invasive test. i know it is time for me to seek help though and i dont know how or where to start. so the plan is to visit my family dr and tell him just that, and maybe he can help. if anyone can give me any advice or provide any insight as to what i should expect i would really appreciate it. Thanks for your encouraging words everyone!

-stormy

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DATE: Jul 18 2011, 2:55 pm / MOOD: Tired

I can't even dosimple tasks like buying stuff for myself. I even became agoraphobic and I can hardly go out of our house.Iexperiencethisevery timei try to go shopping. Even before I ever leave my house I change clothes multiple times bc I already have anxiety about how I will look to others. I love shopping for clothes and beauty products, but I cant even go into my favorite stores without feeling so distressed that it kills any joy I get from my shopping. often ill spend hours just preparing to go to the grocerystore to pick up one or two things and end up never going because of the pressure.

The worst part is sitting in class and waiting around to be called on. As soon as they say my name my heart starts pounding and I just know I'm not going to perform well speaking. Sometimes when someone says something funny I find it hard to keep a straight smile because of the self awareness issue.I completely relate to this because I often cant even focus on what is going on in class bc im to busy overanalyzing my fears of getting called on. im preoccupied withthoughts like "what will i say? will i be able to talk loud enough? will my voice be shakey? im probably going to blush and sweat. all the while im very self aware of myself and my appearance. i focus on my posture, how im sitting, what my face looks like. i pick at my fingernails and my clothes constantly and fidget.

I would drive twenty minutes to class and if I was a minute or two late, I wouldn't go in. I couldn't bear the thought of walking in late and having everyone look at me while I tried to find a seat.True story: my last year in high school, when i started driving myself, i almost failed my english class bc i would be a couple minutes behind and i couldnt bare walking into that class in front of everyone. it got worse when i started college. i have dropped many classes because i just never made it to them bc i was late the first couple of days. there would be days that i would be determined and drive all the way to campus only to sit in the parking lot for about 10 minutes and talk myself out of it.

I just suffer from social anxiety...I am afraid of when the teachers say introduce yourself... Like I'm going to die and stop breathing when I am forced to speak in front of so many strangers...It's horrible...I don't know what to do for this problem.

My college life is non-existent because of S.A.D..I hardly ever left my house/garden, between the age of 11-18my parents divorced when i was 10. i moved in with my mother at her home in the middle of nowhere. she was very strict when it came to me leaving the house. it got to a point that i knew better than to ask to leave the house more than once in two weeks. she would always say "well you just went out last week".

I feel like I could perform many times better academically if I didn't have this persistent fog of anxiety in my head

.

i wish i was a student who was able to be outgoing in class. I wish i could be opinionated and able to charm my instructor and classmates with my smarts. often when i know the answer to a question i get a rush. i feel my face flush and a momentary body sweat. its like im thinking about what if i was to answer and i already have physical nervous reactions.

I'm frequently depressed out of my mind because I feel like I'm trapped and isolated from other people for no reason.im smart. i have a good sense of humor. i can be passionate about my ideals and opinions. but im just show shy noone sees taht part of me. not even anyone in my family.

I have withdrawn from or gotten a bad grade in many courses because of the anxiety I get when writing papers or giving a presentation.My relationship with my boyfriend is suffering becauseI dread hanging out with his friends or going to a party where I don't know many people.I can't play sports with him because I feel like others are judging me and I'm not very coordinated.I constantly think that other people don't like meand Ireplay moments in my head when I think I said or did something stupid over and over.I know people probably aren't evaluating me as harshly as I think, but I can't stop myself from feeling that way. I used to love singing, but I stopped because I wouldcry in the middle of performances.I feel like this has taken away my life from me.

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DATE: May 26 2011, 5:51 pm / MOOD: Peaceful

Hey again! So work last night was stressful just as expected. i was working with only one other server and there were only three working in the kitchen. I tried to keep a good mood but everyone seemed to bring their bad attitude. One chef got on to me about how a rang up bread on a sandwich, and the girl expoing rolled her eyes everytime i asked her anything through the window. ugh. it sucks when ppl act like that and im trying so hard to be friendly. Oh well. i dont usually work with that crew of ppl thank goodness. Today i worked the day shift and it was a good day with a few minor bad things. i overhear a coworker openly talking to another saying "you sure missed a great pool party yesterday!" he replied saying "well it would help if i had been invited". From the pictures on facebook it looks like most everyone that i consider myself friends with was invited. That being so, i was pretty sad that i wasnt invited or even told that i was missed. hmph. oh well. Another thing today is that there is one girl that is returning to work that for some reason just really works my anxiety. just greeting her saying "hey how are you" caused me to blush so bad i had to hide my face for a bit. She is just soooooo great at being social and funny and just knowing what to say, i guess im intimidated by that and thats why i have such a hard time talking to her. The sad thing is i think she is cool and would like to be her friend but i cant stand being around her bc how anxious she makes me. plus she has been rude to me in the past and its hard to forget how that felt.Anyway, she will only be working with us again for about a week so it wont be so bad..... I found out today at work that we are having a dinner with the company ceo as kind of a celebration of surviving. I think its great and am excited to go, but along with that im already nervous. being taht we all will be at dinner rather than work its going to be a much more intimate setting with my coworkers and bosses and i have a hard time keeping up convo. Im sure it will be fine, just another thing to worry about until then....

thanks all that has been reading! im really new and i am so excited to see that ppl really do care on here!

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DATE: May 25 2011, 2:12 pm / MOOD: Okay

Here we go!Since im very new to the site im going to treat this kind of like a online journal.

So yeah, I'm just hanging out before i have to head to work at 4. I work at a sandwich shop in tuscaloosa, al. Its on the same street that was completely destroyed by tornado's on the april 27th. We are litterally right in the middle of the destruction. im pretty anxious to go back in because i have been gone for about 4 days on a trip with a girlfriend. It was nice to get away from the sad sights of my destroyed town but its time to get back to reality. People need their sandwiches and a sense of normality. Im usually a day shift worker where its really busy, no time to chat with other employees. Nights, especially now after the storm, are completely dead. I find myself struggling to find things to say to the other workers. Im always afraid that they think im a snobby bitch bc i never talk. but we have all been working together so long i think that they are pretty much aware that i have SA. I wish there was an easy way to tell people. Im alway afraid they have the wrong idea about me bc they dont understand my condition and just think "she's just weird". ::sigh::

maybe toinght will be busy or at least easier to get through. Maybe ill write another blog when i get home. We'll see...

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