May 02 2012, 12:03 am / Sad
I’d say my heart is broken,
But how can something already broken break again?
You were my best friend, Ali...You were My sister.
I opened my heart to you, Only you.
You knew things no one else would know,
Secret’s I’ll take to my grave.
You told me secret’s no one knows about you.
To me, you were my first ‘relationship’
I trust you, we trust each other.
You saw the worst sides of me,
Saw how f@cked up I truly am.
Yet, you still stayed with me,
Why did you walk away now?
We were sister’s…Or so I thought
You were, and are everything to me.
I love you, You are my sister.
Why did you leave?
Why did you dump me by a text message?
My heartache’s, I want to reach out to you, and Plead for another chance…
Was this all a lie, I wonder?
Did you just pity me the whole time?
Was I the only one who truly thought we were like sisters?
You said we’d be together forever,
We’d always be there for each other.
Am I really that disgusting? That I scared you away?
I’m truly pathetic, That I still have some hope you’ll change your mind…
And take me back, and Like a wounded animal…
If you wanted to be friends again…I’d gladly accept.
I miss you, Out of all my others problems, you’ve easily tore me down.
You’ve consumed me, all my thoughts, Even my nightmares.
At night I cry out, pleading to myself that this is all a dream,
And that you haven’t ditched me, leaving me behind to slowly die in all of my problems.
Have you found new friends?
Have you found prettier friends? Are you ashamed to know someone like me?
Was our time together nothing to you? Am I just a past thought now?
Was it really that easy to say goodbye? To stomp out the flame that burned so deeply in our friendship?
Or, did you finally see what I truly am?
I’m so ugly, and worthless compared to you…
You’re so pretty, and smart…You are truly an amazing person…
I always have…and still admire you…
So, whenever I think back to the part of me that was jealous and…almost hated you I’m disgusted with myself.
I don’t deserve to have a friend like you…
You noticed that to right? I don’t blame you..
I watch as the blood pours from my wrist..
Did you know? That night you washed your hands of me..
I grabbed my razor, and shed my dirty blood, Tears pouring down my cheeks
Not from the pain of the cuts, But from the pain of losing you
I miss you, I’m still crying…
I wish I could talk to you one last time….Even if it was just to say goodbye
But, You’re happy now right? You don’t have to deal with such me…
With such a waste of space
I hope you succeeded in life…Since I know I never will
As you continue on, Find love and a new best friend,
I’m stuck in the past, spiraling downhill into nothingness.
I wonder how you feel? Do you miss me?...Even just alittle?
So many feelings are swelling within my broken, bloody heart.
I can’t even begin to say, I just wish you were here..
I wonder…If I were to die tomorrow…would you cry?
Would you come to my funeral?...
Ali, Would you even care?
I can’t change your mind…You’re perfect, So you deserve perfect friends…
Don’t feel bad…I was bound to end up alone anyway, I’m not blaming you…
To me you will always be my sister…
My heart still pleads for you, Even though I know this is goodbye…
I have no one to blame…
Expect my disgusting self.