Anxiety Self Help

DATE: Jan 01 2012, 3:16 pm / MOOD: Lonely

I can't live with this any more. I HATE it. I need to be touched I need to feel people around me. Today has just been awful,and I don't remember when I last felt so alone. I need to be touched but I know that if anyone comes near me I'll most likely pass out. Its like a natural reflex to move away when someone goes to touch me but I can't stand being as I am. I can't go my whole life like this. This is so frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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DATE: Dec 31 2011, 6:40 pm / MOOD: Lonely

Okay well I may as well introduce myself then... just joined. Mary. 16 years old. And above all my issues (trust me there are a few) I am absolutly terrified to be touched. In any way, by any person; it just scares me silly. Why? I won't go into the details, I mean hey I don't know any of you, but it wasn't nice and it happened when I was very young, you get the jist. So since then if anyone gets physically close to me, even if it is a stranger on a crowded bus/ train, I shiver, get dizzy, feel sick, loose breath and sometimes even throw up, or pass out or if its really bad have a panic attack. Until now it hasn't affected my life THAT badly, and no one has had the occasion where they would notice how undeniably weird I was being. However, like I said I am 16. For the past year or so I have been expected socially to go out, attend parties and have a life of me own, not one where I am at home on New Years Eve eating ice cream and crying as I watch Titanic and talk to people I do not know about my problems. I can't go to parties. I can't bear them. I mean, I love having fun, but they are always packed. The last time I attended a party I had a panic attack, right there. Bid of a shock to the guy who was chatting me up, I'll tell you that much. I don't know what I am supposed to do anymore. Anyone gets within arms length of me, especially guys, and I... well I try to run as far as I can. And if I can't? The party incident was minor. You get the idea... does anyone have any idea of how I can get past this? Even a little? Cus I sure don't. One of my friends tried to ease me into being touched. I ended up passing out. Twice. Help?

Ps thanks for reading the speech, I understand it's kind of an essay but if anything helps its venting, right?

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