Anxiety Self Help

Mostly romantic comedies but I have ventured out to some action/drama flicks thanks to my mom. I love Matt Damen, Audrey Hepburn, Julia roberts and Angelina Jolie.

I stare into the mirror and can’t see.

The image is so familiar.

Who can this girl be?

She looks so sad. It shows on her face.

Why is she crying?

Did someone hurt her?

I want to hug this girl.

I just don’t understand.

Why is she in so much pain?

Could I be the one who could take it all away?

I know I could bring a smile to her face.

It can be me to show her the beauty inside of her.

I know its there.

I don’t want her to be sad!

No one can show her...

It has to be me!

I have to be the one to believe.

When will I see this girl is

Me?

- Melissa 2004

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My name is Melissa. I have battled with many things in my life including anorexia, bulimia(hospitalized at Renfrew FL in 2003), self injury (cutting/burning), substance abuse, PTSD, OCD, Borderline personality disorder and physical/sexual abuse. Not to mention all these frickin abandonment issues. I am trying more and more everyday to get a grip on things and live life to the fullest. I want a real life desperately... not this one full of fear and bull sh*t. I have hope for my future, somedays more than others. I need encouragement to go on more than anything. I want to go to school and become a psychologist so I can help girl with eaing disorders. I have my own web page www.freewebs.com/anadeath it is on eating disorder recovery.

The color Pink!
Laughing so hard your face hurts.
A bubble bath with candles and soft music and a book!
getting mail for someone I know.
Taking a drive on a pretty road when you have nothing to do.
Hearing my favorite song on the radio and calling a friend so they can hear too.
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
Wrapping up in a hot towel, fresh out of the dryer.
A funny conversation with a friend that last for hours.
The beach at sunset!
Running into someone I miss really bad.
Finding a 20 dollar bill in my coat from last winter.
Looking into the face of a new born baby while in your arms.
Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
Having someone tell you that you're special to them.
Laughing at an inside joke that only you and your best friend get out of the group of people.
When my friend goes to a concert and leaves me a message with the phone in the air so I can hear too.
Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
Waking up before the alarm clock and just lying in bed
Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
Shopping, shopping, shopping... never can have enough clothes, shoes or jewlery
Having someone play with my hair or do my make up.
Remembering a sweet dream.
Jeans that actually are long enough and fit.
Cereal.. one of the best foods ever
When you are drying your hair and start to sing and dance to the song on the radio infront of the mirror with the hairbrush microphone
Reading a good book that gets you caught up in it
That feeling you get after doing something you've been nervous about for a long time
British Accents
Waking up on Christmas morning
An old couple walking, holding hands. So sweet.
Hot chocolate next to a warm fire.
Road trips!
Hearing someone say they are proud of me.
Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from me.
Knowing that somebody misses you.
Getting a hug from someone I care about deeply.
Knowing I've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Pajama pants from victoria secret and cozy slippers/socks
Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
Knowing I am doing the best I can and it DOES matter.
Looking in the mirror and thinking I look pretty today.

Being anxious all the time
Fearing FAT and FOOD
Fake, closed minded, conditional love only people
People just wanting to be with you for your looks
Beef and Pork.. ewww
Elevators
Being abandoned
clothes that don't fit just right

Working on my web page
Listening to music
I love animals!
I use to be a ballet dancer
Yoga
Being with friends and family

www.myspace.com/missababy4314