Anxiety

Meet the parents/Fockers Ben Stiller is one of my favorite actors. Little Miss Sunshine, I laugh so hard when I watch that movie, Steve Caroll, also one of my favorite people on earth. There are so many more but I cant really think right now.

Well I could list everyone, But im too lazy. I have close to 8,000 songs on my itunes. I love music, the more the better. I basically like:

-Rock
-Screamo
-Punk
-Anything with meaning in their lyrics

3 Of My Favorite Bands:

Thrice
I actually got a tattoo on my wrist that said "HOLD FAST HOPE" because of one of their songs.



Blue October:
Some of the best lyrics you will ever read. Justin (Lead singer) has been through most of the same stuff Im going through. I got to talk to him. He is def. one of my hereos.



Anti-Flag:
They stand for whatever they believe in, no matter what. Their a band out to change the way people look at things. I respect them so much.

Um...well I havent read that much. But I love "Cracked" Im not sure if you listen to loveline with Dr. Drew but hes awesome. Hes an addiction specialist and this book is basically him narrating normal days in his life. Its very interesting, and you should def. read it.

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"He Who Fears He Will Suffer, Already Suffers From His Fear"



Hey Im Jessica. Whats up? Well what can I write about myself. Well depression should be my middle name, but its cool its become one of my close friends, Im use to it. I have a twin sister. Were so close, shes my best friend. I have really bad anxiety, its very severe. Its basically controling my life right now. Its in a way crippling. Clawing on to the chair anticipating another attack, it pretty much gets old really fast. Or the worst out in public and your trying to control your breathing, but you end up still sounding like a elephant with asthma, its not cool. Its to the point where Im starting to not leave the house. I stopped going to school senior year, I was too nervous at the thought of going in. so i got tutored in order to graduate. i start college on the 25 of august, i dont know how im going to make it through. ive worked hard over the last two years to get to this point, i hope i can do it. Im very nice, I love to listen to others, I think I have an obsession of helping people. I love to hang out when Im up to it, laugh, people say im funny, well i try to be. A laugh is a powerful thing, it shows you "hey im not completely some weird depressed kid I think i have become, I still have it in me to smile." So humor #1 on my top of things I love to be around. Dane Cook is one of my hereos. Thats all i can think of, i cant talk to people in person that well, but I love meeting new people online so feel free to message me, Im nice :)

Add me on myspace, I could use some people who know what Im going through. : www.myspace.com/zakrazak

MUSIC, its all i have sometimes. Music is basically my life. Its always been there for me, its helps me, it gives me some hope that things will get better. Says the words I wish I could say outloud.

When Im up to it i love concerts. I went on tom delonges tour bus, watched an unrealsed music video, talked for about an hour. By far the coolest experience. Going crazy at concerts, def. a must, letting everything out in a mosh pit, lets just say watch out if your near me :).


Check This out, Jamie and Renee have helped me out alot in my darkest times.

....Hospitals to be honest. Everything about them scares me, and I hope I never have to go back again.

School, it basically makes me fall asleep at the thought of it.

Friends that use, or go against you. That hurts by far the most. Working a friendship to see it slowly fall apart, its upsetting.

People that judge. Everyone is unique, no one is the same. To me that is the coolest thing ever. Why would we all want to be the same. When I see different, I love it.

Hate/Fighting, its not worth it to me. I try to stay away from that. Life's too short i guess to hold a gruge over something stupid.

I dont really have many. I guess one could be. Im obsessed with finding new, upcoming, not that well none bands. Just because bands are famous, doesnt mean there better than any other one trying to make it.

I also like to write. My dream growing up was to write children books, and my sister illustrate. I also like to write poems about my pain I feel, or my depression. I tend not to show anyone those.