Anxiety

Taking Xanax was great, it was wonderful, it became overpoweringly irresistable.  Never thought I'd do drugs of any kind.  Don't even smoke pot.  But Xanax put me almost back into a deep depression so that I didn't feel pain or pleasure.  Actually didn't mind the doc taking blood because it felt so unreal -- that feeling of a needle.

Why am I avoiding my mother?  I look at the caller ID and don't pick up if it is her.  She is still so critical. Even after all these years she can find the sore spot on my psyche and, even on the phone, can hit it repeatedly.   I'm not like that with my son.  I protect his sore spots if I know he has them.  Why can this 80 year old woman still get inside my head?  When she passes away will she still be able to torment me?

My Comments From: dancingtallman Jan 06 2009, 9:55 pm Barbara, I have been trying to think of something to say to you about your mother and have yet to find anything that seems right to me. Have you ever talked with her and told her the effect that she has on you and how much she hurts you? I understand what you are saying, and I try to treat my son the way you treat yours. Just remember that one of the reasons you do that is because of your mother and the relationship that the two of you have so however difficult it was for you, she did somehow raise a fantastic daughter. Or in spite of all you were strong enough to overcome and become a wonderful person. Don