Anxiety

Is it really so wrong to hurt someone just to see how far you can push them before they leave..?

If someone trully loved me they wouldn't leave no matter what because love hurts and it's not supposed to be good all the time.

And they would keep coming back (just like I have done) because if they loved me there would be no one else, nothing else, because that's what love is, right?

All I wunna do is find out for sure and why shouldn't I? Yeah, I'm insecure and I need to keep testing.

Communication, I think, is the most important thing in any relationship. Through good time and bad times, otherwise what's the point? You need to know how each other are feeling because if you don't talk it's like being kept in the dark and not knowing where you stand.

Arguing isn't nice, but I don't think it's all bad. I think if you argue with someone, it just shows you care because if you didn't care you wouldn't bother. And I'd rather argue than not talk at all.

For me loving someone is completely understanding and accepting that person and sharing everything, but if you don't know everything about them or plan to find out or even talk to that person much then there's nothing to accept, which I assume would lead to misunderstandings and pointless arguments and frustration. I don't think anyone should start a relationship untill they properly know each other and understand each other.

Every time I start a relationship I think it's gunna be forever. Eventually living together, marriage, kids and all that. If I didn't then why would I bother in the first place? It would only end up in pain and loss and dissappointment. Why put myself through that?

One of the worst things is being confused about a relationship that you're in. Not knowing if he/she loves you as much as you love them because they'd rather have fun than talk about serious things. Feeling like it's one sided and ending it just to see if they'll fight for you or if they don't care and just let you walk away.

I do my best to fool a guy into thinking he can't live without me and 90% of the time it works, but not always, especially if we don't talk. All I want is to be with the person I'm gunna spend the rest of my life with. I need to be sure and if I have to test and push to find out then I'll do that. I don't want uncirtainty. I don't wunna have to worry about losing what little I have. I don't wunna cry over anyone or have to do something stupid just to make a point. I'm probably too young for any of it still, but that's just what I want.

Not that I think I deserve what I want... but it could still happen. That's all I have to hold onto.