Anxiety

Feb 24 2010, 12:08 pm

Oh joy, more misery :/

Well at least Justin's moved to Cali, that should be a considerable improvement, no?

Right now, I'm not doing too well. Not so much anxiety-related as not being able to stop my own internal rage and vengeful impulses.

The world demands of me that I should forgive and pity my enemies. The question is, if someone kidnapped, raped and then tortured your innocent five year-old daughter and proceeded to burn down your house and steal your car and the world then demanded of you that you forgive and pity that person, how would you react?

Some people would claim that there's a world of difference between my situation and the hypothetical situation above, but I don't really know.
All I know is that I feel alone (but utterly justified) in my hatred and rage and nobody seems to understand it.

There's a law. You break that law and you get punished.
There are unwritten rules, rules that are in place for a logical reason. Breaking those aren't really any different than breaking the law, yet nobody punishes those who break the unwritten rules and I see that as an atrocity beyond forgiveness.

And yet they have the audacity to demand that I forgive those who unjustly and completely unprovoked broke into my life and shattered it because THEY couldn't deal with the fact that I could do something they couldn't.

I don't really know where I stand morally any more. I'm just confused and scared of the world and myself.

Feb 20 2010, 2:30 am

Hello,
How have you been lately?

I'm experiencing something strange when trying to read your blogs. Everytime I click on one of your blogs, it redirects me to AT's "latest blogs" page. The same happens when I select your blogs menu.
Weird. You didn't, by any chance, block me from your blogs or something? :P

EDIT: Apparently it's not just on your page, but pretty much every time I try to access someone's latest blog. O_o

Jan 25 2010, 9:46 pm

whats up baby? im comin to yur state tomorrow:)love ya

Jan 11 2010, 7:19 pm

Jan 11 2010, 2:47 am

Hello Alana, how are you holding up these days? How's the weather over there?

We have snow here and it's significantly colder than it's been the last few years, but at the moment, there doesn't seem to be falling much, if any new snow.